This may be no consolation: I was 30 when my first child entered toddlerhood and distinctly remember thinking: I cannot do this (meaning having another child) again. EXHAUSTED ALL THE TIME.
But apparently “mommy brain” means your short term memory disappears, so we forget, and that’s how some of us end up having more children (I was blessed with two more).
When I read in the Spectator that you were pregnant, I rejoiced for you.
It does get better, suicidal attempts wane down to one a year, and at some point they can even go to school!
We had our kids at 37 and 41. I agree that younger is better especially energy wise. But they are 28 and 24 now and doing well. I only wish we had had time for more.
I had my sons at 38 and 42, and my second pregnancy was easier than my first one. My 43rd birthday gave me pause because I realized that I was 43 with a 6 month old baby. 😳 When I attended my grade school reunion that year, I was certain that I would have the youngest child of all my classmates. Nope! One of my classmates attended the reunion pregnant with twins at 44! BTW, I hated being reminded of my “advanced maternal age” during both of my pregnancies. 👎
Truth. Had my second at 36 and realized, even if we wanted a third, I didn’t think my body could take it. (Turns out we should have had a third-the world needs more normies and I’d like lots of grand kids).
Another benefit-you get retirement lifestyle earlier. My best-friend (51) sent her last (and 4th!) kid off to college this past fall. She and her husband spent Nov in a VRBO in FL, then bought in Jan and spent the winter in their condo. Lots of financial planning and stars aligning made that possible, but would have been impossible with kids at home.
Suggestion-I’ve recently seen a lot of articles, like yours, encouraging marriage, family and having kids early. I’m delighted- my marriage and our kids are responsible for most of the joy in my life. What I’m not seeing is practical advice for these young people (women esp) on how to do it. I wonder if you could crowd-source a “wear sunscreen” type advice piece:
“Ladies and gentleman of the class of 2024, have babies” or “be Christian nationalists”.
I have two high-school aged daughters. The older is heading off to college in a few months. Things are getting real for us-and her. I think she wants a life that looks a lot like ours and there are choices, and sequencing and timing of those choices, that make that outcome more likely.
This may be no consolation: I was 30 when my first child entered toddlerhood and distinctly remember thinking: I cannot do this (meaning having another child) again. EXHAUSTED ALL THE TIME.
But apparently “mommy brain” means your short term memory disappears, so we forget, and that’s how some of us end up having more children (I was blessed with two more).
When I read in the Spectator that you were pregnant, I rejoiced for you.
It does get better, suicidal attempts wane down to one a year, and at some point they can even go to school!
We had our kids at 37 and 41. I agree that younger is better especially energy wise. But they are 28 and 24 now and doing well. I only wish we had had time for more.
I had my sons at 38 and 42, and my second pregnancy was easier than my first one. My 43rd birthday gave me pause because I realized that I was 43 with a 6 month old baby. 😳 When I attended my grade school reunion that year, I was certain that I would have the youngest child of all my classmates. Nope! One of my classmates attended the reunion pregnant with twins at 44! BTW, I hated being reminded of my “advanced maternal age” during both of my pregnancies. 👎
Truth. Had my second at 36 and realized, even if we wanted a third, I didn’t think my body could take it. (Turns out we should have had a third-the world needs more normies and I’d like lots of grand kids).
Another benefit-you get retirement lifestyle earlier. My best-friend (51) sent her last (and 4th!) kid off to college this past fall. She and her husband spent Nov in a VRBO in FL, then bought in Jan and spent the winter in their condo. Lots of financial planning and stars aligning made that possible, but would have been impossible with kids at home.
Suggestion-I’ve recently seen a lot of articles, like yours, encouraging marriage, family and having kids early. I’m delighted- my marriage and our kids are responsible for most of the joy in my life. What I’m not seeing is practical advice for these young people (women esp) on how to do it. I wonder if you could crowd-source a “wear sunscreen” type advice piece:
“Ladies and gentleman of the class of 2024, have babies” or “be Christian nationalists”.
I have two high-school aged daughters. The older is heading off to college in a few months. Things are getting real for us-and her. I think she wants a life that looks a lot like ours and there are choices, and sequencing and timing of those choices, that make that outcome more likely.