Phetasy News - Stick to What’s In Front of You

The Aliens Are Coming, The High Cost of Speaking Up For Women, Self-Awareness vs. Self-Delusion, Donald Trump Is A Cardboard Burger, Battle Cry of the Politically Listless & Merch

Sep 22, 2023

Greetings from the Phetaverse!

As we head into the end of the year, now is when I like to start planting the seeds for the next year. I’ve written a lot about how easy it is to give into the “f*ck its” as we approach the holidays—but this is exactly the moment when we need to renew our commitment to our goals, to our process, and to ourselves.

Up until I got sober almost ten(!) years ago, my life was a series of having big dreams and then giving up on myself. When things got hard, I would tell myself I was a loser or a failure or delusional and quit—or even worse—self-destruct. I was always, always getting in my own way.

It’s an instinct I still have to fight. Even though my external circumstances have changed quite a bit over the past decade, my internal monologue has been slow to catch up. When fear and financial insecurity kick in, I find it hard to battle the old demons repeating, “You’re a loser. You’re a fraud. You’re kidding yourself.”

This is exactly when I need to return to a focus on process. I can’t often talk my way out of the negative self-talk, but I can act my way out of it. Do I need to adjust my strategy? Do I need to slow down? Speed up? It’s impossible to evaluate anything clearly when I’m panicking or beating myself up. Panic, fear, anxiety or depression…these are signs to me that I need to return to the basics.

The Stoics had a lot of wisdom when it came to overcoming adversity and controlling what we can control. Marcus Aurelius said, “Stick to what’s in front of you — idea, action, utterance.” As I wrap up this year, I get to choose how I’m going to face the challenges it is presenting. I cannot control the economy or the political climate or the algorithm or the weather or the way people drive or the price of bananas. I can control my thoughts, my deeds, and my words with clarity and courage. So I’ll start right there.