If you are a woman, what messaging did you receive about womanhood? Same question for if you are a man? What messaging did you receive about manhood? From the culture? From your parents? From your religion if you were raised with one?
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This is an interesting question. To be honest, my parents were pretty chill people. They never forced an idea of “womanhood” down my throat. There was never that traditional sense of womanhood where you got married, had children, etc.
I think my parents were a bit ahead of their time and saw the writing on the wall. That, even if I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, I couldn’t. I had to work, because that was our economy. They were very realistic. Even my grandmother, who was fairly traditional, but worked part-time to travel, said to me, “You’re going to need your own money. Never depend on a man.”
She had a great marriage. One of the great love stories and she’s telling me this. For all of her traditional beliefs, she understood the world was changing around her. I am skeptical of feminism, but understand the good things that it has brought to women. Yes, some of it is extreme and there are trade-offs, but aren’t there always?
Every movement has unforeseen consequences. I don’t have to like them, but the freedom to face those consequences, as a woman, isn’t something I would’ve had 50 years ago. I’d rather face those and live with my choices.
In short, no, I don’t really have a drilled into me concept of what a woman should be. I think women are just as unique as men. Men and women are different and that’s a good thing.
My idea of womanhood is whatever I deem it to be for me, personally. I will not shove some ideology down another’s throat and as long as you’re happy, why the f*** do I care?
I’m aware that biology will rule the day and there will be aspects of myself that are distinctly female. That’s fine. I don’t need to be the same as a man, but I won’t fear them either.
What is a woman? I think it’s just an absurd question. Sure, I can tell you it’s someone with these chromosomes, a vagina, a uterus, etc., but are we really at the point, again, where we narrow women down to our body parts? This isn’t a commentary about trans-women. Trans-women are trans-women. That’s it.
Womanhood to me is whatever the f*** I want it to be. Whether that’s having kids and getting married or something else. Society has down enough “commentary” about what a woman is. Let the woman decide what she is. Everyone else? Mind your business.
So happy to have joined (I never join these things but have followed you for so long I figured it's about damn time!) lol. I wouldn't really say I received messages about womanhood except ONE that prevailed throughout my life; which is that women are supposed to be thin. Period. No exception. Part of this is to make your parents proud that you're their kid, but also I suppose from an evolutionary perspective to increase the opportunities for mating. Being a woman was all about looking good and as such there was really no alternative. I realize when I grew up (gen xer) there was no alternatives. No internet. no Lizzo. no body positivity movements....It was THIS (magazines) is what you need to look like and these "models" were called models for a reason, as in we are to model ourselves/bodies after them and by any means possible. Period. No exception. End of story. I am so thrilled that we seem to have sort of outgrown this notion as a society. While being thin and pretty are still highly revered we have also made room for those who are not genetically gifted/freaks of nature who just look perfect all the time and come to our senses that the majority of the population don't and we should not all collectively aspire to what is really the exception and not the rule. We seem to have somewhat moved past the idea that if you are not X than you should be ridiculed, left out, excluded, shamed, alienated and cast off the island.