One of the things that’s surprised and shocked me over the last two years is how hard it has been not to give in to despair. There is so much evil noise, everywhere and on all sides, one starts to feel one is drowning. And yes, for the young a hundred times more difficult to keep any kind of perspective or balance. The first step, I think, is just to turn off all sources of negativity, most of which pour out of this infernal device in my hand 😂
I am an optimistic person in general. I try not to be a downer in my own life and when I am that way, I know I need to step back.
I think I have a lot of optimism about aging and the wisdom that comes with it. When we’re kids, we all want to be adults. While all of my fellow millennials are crying about adulthood, I’m trying to embrace it.
Having my own money, time, and decisions has been incredibly freeing. I never liked being a teenager; it was awkward and nothing was yours. I love that, as I age, I own more of what I do and say. I can do as I please (within reason) and carve my own path. I had a wonderful childhood, but this yearning to be independent was always within me.
So, if I had to pick something, it has to be that - aging. I am not scared of the future, I open my arms to it
I try not to be the Negative Nellie but it’s hard! Factory settings in this area are definitely negative. My dad was as doom and gloom as they came.
However my life is good! Recently remarried to an absolutely wonderful man who adores me, a teenage daughter, who is lovely and still speaks to me, and a nice car, a nice house, and I’m healthy! Not much more I can really ask for at this point.
I’m optimistic about both the present and the future because I’ve spent so much time studying history and understand how violent and unfair the past was for most people living in it. Stepping away from current events and stepping into the past has given me such a renewed love for current times, despite the problems our society faces from not being able to cope with abundance.
When books and lectures feel like too much of a chore, there’s plenty of historical-based entertainment streaming that immerses me in the past and paints a vivid picture of what it would have been like. I’m currently enjoying “Rise of Empires - Ottoman” on Netflix and learned how “Vlad the Impaler” made a name for himself in the 1460s by impaling metal spikes through his victims. He wasn’t just some random killer either, he was the ruler of his entire country. It’s nice to not have to live under guys like that in modern times. Give me a rambling incoherent Biden speech any day.
I was also fortunate to discover Carl Sagan’s work in college and I really internalized “The Pale Blue Dot” monologue and “the cosmic perspective” which gave me a deep appreciation for the simple fact that is summed up best by this quote:
“above all I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal in this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.” - Oliver Sacks
Stop me if I’m entering “toxic positivity” territory but hey at least toxic positivity is better than toxic negativity.
As a corollary to 'the sun will rise again tomorrow,' if it felt like you spent most of today in the shade remember what dear old dad used to tell me: The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass everyday. :)
You know what Bridget, the sun may NOT come up tomorrow! Just because it has throughout earth's history is no guarantee it will. Life is actually quite precarious. In one flash our souls can be gone. Our heart can stop, we can run into a tree or another car, we can get in the way of a bullet. Russia and China might decide to take us out and blow us all to smithereens. The facts are that the world is a hostile place, we're just lucky we live in a time with a lot of stuff we don't need that our ancestors didn't have. Then there is alcohol.
My wife is lying on a bed dying as I write this. She drank herself to death. She didn't have to. She could have quit anytime. She's my first wife, not my current wife. When I met her, she was an intelligent 21-year-old working as a drug counselor on an Air Force base. She came into my life at a party in my apartment. I was also in the Air Force. We got together because I had an airplane and she liked airplanes. We were basically together for the next twenty years. She didn't drink much although she came from a family of social drinkers. Not long after we were married, she became a devout Christian. She'd been raised in an Episcopal church but had no idea what it meant to be saved. She asked the Lord to forgive her sins and was instantly changed, and i mean changed. She said she wanted to be baptized and started listening to a Christian radio station. She became a fervent witness - she'd witness to a stump. She led literally hundreds to Christ. She was an excellent mother to our four children.
Something happened to her when she was in her late thirties. She wanted adventure, such as going to sea as a cook on a ship (she never did) or going on an expedition. She became an active - and skillful - caver. She decided she should divorce me. She never gave a reason why.
In a way, it's partly my fault she started drinking. Neither of us took a drop for at least eighteen years. It started with wine coolers. Then she started keepng beer around - I'm not a beer-drinker. After our divorce, she started drinking heavily. Our oldest daughter got knocked up (with a black baby it turned out) and got married to her boyfriend (not the father of the child.) I didn't know this until years later. She's been married more times than I can count. Her last husband drank himself to death and died of hepatitis. Our oldest son went to Annapolis and was gone. He spent his time in the Navy and got out and went to Harvard. Our other son went to college and eventually died - he was born with his arteries reversed and had a Mustard procedure. He developed an inoperable brain tumor and died before his 25th birthday. Our youngest daughter finally got a masters and, after being married and divorced, married her brother's buddy.
I was out of the picture so all I know is what my daughter has told me. My former wife had two brothers. Her oldest brother was an alcoholic homosexual and her youngest brother was an addict. The youngest brother died a terrible death after he sucked some acetone down his windpipe while trying to inhale it. He claimed he was off of drug. When I met her, they didn't know where he was. The last they'd heard, he and wife, a doctor's daughter, were in New Orleans. He showed up one day at his parent's home in an exclusive Virginia neighborhood, sans wife. He said she'd run off with a murderer. Her oldest brother's drinking became so bad he lost his job. He was living in an apartment in Dallas someone had found for him when he fell and hit his head on a table and bled to death.
Now, she is dying. My daughter says she became her brother. She totally wasted her life.
You once asked me, Bridget, what is the meaning of life. I didn't think to tell you, but it's best described in the words of the writer of James - "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."
One of the things that’s surprised and shocked me over the last two years is how hard it has been not to give in to despair. There is so much evil noise, everywhere and on all sides, one starts to feel one is drowning. And yes, for the young a hundred times more difficult to keep any kind of perspective or balance. The first step, I think, is just to turn off all sources of negativity, most of which pour out of this infernal device in my hand 😂
I am an optimistic person in general. I try not to be a downer in my own life and when I am that way, I know I need to step back.
I think I have a lot of optimism about aging and the wisdom that comes with it. When we’re kids, we all want to be adults. While all of my fellow millennials are crying about adulthood, I’m trying to embrace it.
Having my own money, time, and decisions has been incredibly freeing. I never liked being a teenager; it was awkward and nothing was yours. I love that, as I age, I own more of what I do and say. I can do as I please (within reason) and carve my own path. I had a wonderful childhood, but this yearning to be independent was always within me.
So, if I had to pick something, it has to be that - aging. I am not scared of the future, I open my arms to it
I try not to be the Negative Nellie but it’s hard! Factory settings in this area are definitely negative. My dad was as doom and gloom as they came.
However my life is good! Recently remarried to an absolutely wonderful man who adores me, a teenage daughter, who is lovely and still speaks to me, and a nice car, a nice house, and I’m healthy! Not much more I can really ask for at this point.
I have a blessed life. Thanks for the reminder.
🎶Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow, you’re only a day away🎶
I’m optimistic about both the present and the future because I’ve spent so much time studying history and understand how violent and unfair the past was for most people living in it. Stepping away from current events and stepping into the past has given me such a renewed love for current times, despite the problems our society faces from not being able to cope with abundance.
When books and lectures feel like too much of a chore, there’s plenty of historical-based entertainment streaming that immerses me in the past and paints a vivid picture of what it would have been like. I’m currently enjoying “Rise of Empires - Ottoman” on Netflix and learned how “Vlad the Impaler” made a name for himself in the 1460s by impaling metal spikes through his victims. He wasn’t just some random killer either, he was the ruler of his entire country. It’s nice to not have to live under guys like that in modern times. Give me a rambling incoherent Biden speech any day.
I was also fortunate to discover Carl Sagan’s work in college and I really internalized “The Pale Blue Dot” monologue and “the cosmic perspective” which gave me a deep appreciation for the simple fact that is summed up best by this quote:
“above all I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal in this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.” - Oliver Sacks
Stop me if I’m entering “toxic positivity” territory but hey at least toxic positivity is better than toxic negativity.
As a corollary to 'the sun will rise again tomorrow,' if it felt like you spent most of today in the shade remember what dear old dad used to tell me: The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass everyday. :)
Thanks for this; I'm constantly available for any reminders to laugh at myself, pause, think first, etc. I love young people--this is helpful. 💜
Libraries
Fireflies
String quartets
British short hair kittens
Tiny hands holding on to my finger
Gallows humor
Fresh pizza
Sunday late mornings
Pink peonies
The student who always does her homework
Corpse Bride dialogue
Moonlighting
Pay day
Sweaters with matching coats
Cappuccino
Dancing alone in my kitchen
Fluffy towels
A handwritten letter
Thrift shop finds
Old Joan Rivers clips
Audio books
You know what Bridget, the sun may NOT come up tomorrow! Just because it has throughout earth's history is no guarantee it will. Life is actually quite precarious. In one flash our souls can be gone. Our heart can stop, we can run into a tree or another car, we can get in the way of a bullet. Russia and China might decide to take us out and blow us all to smithereens. The facts are that the world is a hostile place, we're just lucky we live in a time with a lot of stuff we don't need that our ancestors didn't have. Then there is alcohol.
My wife is lying on a bed dying as I write this. She drank herself to death. She didn't have to. She could have quit anytime. She's my first wife, not my current wife. When I met her, she was an intelligent 21-year-old working as a drug counselor on an Air Force base. She came into my life at a party in my apartment. I was also in the Air Force. We got together because I had an airplane and she liked airplanes. We were basically together for the next twenty years. She didn't drink much although she came from a family of social drinkers. Not long after we were married, she became a devout Christian. She'd been raised in an Episcopal church but had no idea what it meant to be saved. She asked the Lord to forgive her sins and was instantly changed, and i mean changed. She said she wanted to be baptized and started listening to a Christian radio station. She became a fervent witness - she'd witness to a stump. She led literally hundreds to Christ. She was an excellent mother to our four children.
Something happened to her when she was in her late thirties. She wanted adventure, such as going to sea as a cook on a ship (she never did) or going on an expedition. She became an active - and skillful - caver. She decided she should divorce me. She never gave a reason why.
In a way, it's partly my fault she started drinking. Neither of us took a drop for at least eighteen years. It started with wine coolers. Then she started keepng beer around - I'm not a beer-drinker. After our divorce, she started drinking heavily. Our oldest daughter got knocked up (with a black baby it turned out) and got married to her boyfriend (not the father of the child.) I didn't know this until years later. She's been married more times than I can count. Her last husband drank himself to death and died of hepatitis. Our oldest son went to Annapolis and was gone. He spent his time in the Navy and got out and went to Harvard. Our other son went to college and eventually died - he was born with his arteries reversed and had a Mustard procedure. He developed an inoperable brain tumor and died before his 25th birthday. Our youngest daughter finally got a masters and, after being married and divorced, married her brother's buddy.
I was out of the picture so all I know is what my daughter has told me. My former wife had two brothers. Her oldest brother was an alcoholic homosexual and her youngest brother was an addict. The youngest brother died a terrible death after he sucked some acetone down his windpipe while trying to inhale it. He claimed he was off of drug. When I met her, they didn't know where he was. The last they'd heard, he and wife, a doctor's daughter, were in New Orleans. He showed up one day at his parent's home in an exclusive Virginia neighborhood, sans wife. He said she'd run off with a murderer. Her oldest brother's drinking became so bad he lost his job. He was living in an apartment in Dallas someone had found for him when he fell and hit his head on a table and bled to death.
Now, she is dying. My daughter says she became her brother. She totally wasted her life.
You once asked me, Bridget, what is the meaning of life. I didn't think to tell you, but it's best described in the words of the writer of James - "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."