Throughout the pandemic, the schools would be open, then shut, then open again for a long stretch, then shut. The final school closure was nearly a year long, and by its end, I had left Vietnam for England. However, I remember the last day of teaching. It was a Friday, and I taught both Pre-K and K. Ga Ga's formal name is Minh Chinh, but in Vietnam they refer to children by their pet names for the first few years until grade school (and for life within their families, evidently!). Ga Ga means 'little chicken', or I suppose 'chick', and he was an absolute character. As I was a contracted teacher, I would come in to teach hour long lessons in phonics, and STEM. I wasn't the homeroom teacher, so was a little more relaxed with my demeanor (Ga Ga also liked to greet me with 'I'm Pie-derman!' then throw his hands down as if shooting webs at me... and yes, I would fire back - not hugely professional). Ga Ga was in Pre-K and he was about to turn four! The school had a special birthday parties for students, and I was looking forward to sharing cake with him. Sadly, on Sunday evening we were told yet again 'more cases, schools will close for a couple of weeks'. I groaned - many of us had lost patience.
I digress. The other day I came across a video of Ga Ga. For homework, the students had to send me a short video of doing the sound of the week, and the action. I have a video still on my OneDrive of him as a three year old saying sweetly 'Today's sound goes like this... SSSS SSSS. The action goes like this....' then he lifts up a little plastic gun, points it at the camera and squeals 'peww! peww!'.
Whelp! I wish it weren't true, but my ex-fiancée Jackie. That damn name comes to mind every day. We dated for nearly five years throughout college. After the engagement things started to go down hill.
Three weeks after our final night together, and yes, we were intimate, three weeks after our final night together in which we decided to call off the wedding I found out she was pregnant. With an other man's child. A friend of her brother, so you know that was going on for some time. A lot of things made more sense as to why she was all of the sudden going to hang out with her brother all the time.
That was six years ago. I'm still not over it. My brother tells me that until I come to terms with the idea that she simply wasn't the right fit, and when something is wrong, it's always wrong then I will continue to suffer. He is right.
The way I see it, there are two problems; Firstly, the way the fit felt 95% there, like two puzzle pieces that nearly match. But 95% isn't all in. It's not one hundo!
Secondly, I've simply not forgiven myself for my part in the relationship's failure. It takes two to tango as they say.
I'm disappointed I don't recall the man's name, but I was watching a video a year or so back from a relationship dude talking to a fella with a very similar story to mine. This isn't verbatim, but he said something like 'you feel like you lost the love of your life, but I don't think that's true. it's only the love of your life when both people choose each other. you choose her but she never really choose you. so she can't really be the one for you.'
Totally tracks with me. I recognize it. I understand it. I cannot internalize it.
Perhaps writing it out will finally make it stick.
Ga Ga
Throughout the pandemic, the schools would be open, then shut, then open again for a long stretch, then shut. The final school closure was nearly a year long, and by its end, I had left Vietnam for England. However, I remember the last day of teaching. It was a Friday, and I taught both Pre-K and K. Ga Ga's formal name is Minh Chinh, but in Vietnam they refer to children by their pet names for the first few years until grade school (and for life within their families, evidently!). Ga Ga means 'little chicken', or I suppose 'chick', and he was an absolute character. As I was a contracted teacher, I would come in to teach hour long lessons in phonics, and STEM. I wasn't the homeroom teacher, so was a little more relaxed with my demeanor (Ga Ga also liked to greet me with 'I'm Pie-derman!' then throw his hands down as if shooting webs at me... and yes, I would fire back - not hugely professional). Ga Ga was in Pre-K and he was about to turn four! The school had a special birthday parties for students, and I was looking forward to sharing cake with him. Sadly, on Sunday evening we were told yet again 'more cases, schools will close for a couple of weeks'. I groaned - many of us had lost patience.
I digress. The other day I came across a video of Ga Ga. For homework, the students had to send me a short video of doing the sound of the week, and the action. I have a video still on my OneDrive of him as a three year old saying sweetly 'Today's sound goes like this... SSSS SSSS. The action goes like this....' then he lifts up a little plastic gun, points it at the camera and squeals 'peww! peww!'.
Legend.
Dolly.
That was my grandmother’s nickname her entire life. I loved that nickname, because she used to tell me that she looked like a doll as a baby.
I am not one to love names of people, but nicknames tell me so much about a person. I love the ones that someone else gives you.
Whenever I hear this name, I think of her and my heart is full.
Whelp! I wish it weren't true, but my ex-fiancée Jackie. That damn name comes to mind every day. We dated for nearly five years throughout college. After the engagement things started to go down hill.
Three weeks after our final night together, and yes, we were intimate, three weeks after our final night together in which we decided to call off the wedding I found out she was pregnant. With an other man's child. A friend of her brother, so you know that was going on for some time. A lot of things made more sense as to why she was all of the sudden going to hang out with her brother all the time.
That was six years ago. I'm still not over it. My brother tells me that until I come to terms with the idea that she simply wasn't the right fit, and when something is wrong, it's always wrong then I will continue to suffer. He is right.
The way I see it, there are two problems; Firstly, the way the fit felt 95% there, like two puzzle pieces that nearly match. But 95% isn't all in. It's not one hundo!
Secondly, I've simply not forgiven myself for my part in the relationship's failure. It takes two to tango as they say.
I'm disappointed I don't recall the man's name, but I was watching a video a year or so back from a relationship dude talking to a fella with a very similar story to mine. This isn't verbatim, but he said something like 'you feel like you lost the love of your life, but I don't think that's true. it's only the love of your life when both people choose each other. you choose her but she never really choose you. so she can't really be the one for you.'
Totally tracks with me. I recognize it. I understand it. I cannot internalize it.
Perhaps writing it out will finally make it stick.