Politically Homeless - Personal Loss

Real people, real letters, real problems, no solutions.

Politics these days have become so divided and divisive that it’s become the norm to view the other side of the aisle as “the enemy”. People are being told to “pick a side” and that there’s no room for middle ground. We here at Phetasy believe that there are a lot more people in the middle than politicians and the media would have us believe.

We’re collecting stories from the ever growing number of people who are finding themselves Politically Homeless and posting them here on Substack. If you have moved from conservative to liberal, or liberal to conservative, if you feel you’ve stayed in the same place and your party has swerved drastically away from you, if you had a moment that awakened you to the insanity and hypocrisy on both sides, if you keep your mouth shut anytime a political topic comes up because you’re afraid your opinion will cause you to lose friends or your job, you’re not as alone as you might think.

Our goal is to shine a light on people’s earnest, individual experiences and show them they’re not alone.

Some letters have been edited for clarity and brevity. If you’re politically homeless and would like to share your story, please email us at iampoliticallyhomeless@gmail.com. All submissions will remain anonymous.

Letter 12:

Hi Bridget,

I heard you talking to Andrew Yang. It was a great podcast - I can relate so much to what both of you have to say. 

You asked Andrew, at one point, about whether he had experienced personal loss due to his political views. I thought it was cool that you were interested in that and I wondered if you would be interested in my story. Maybe, maybe not... but here goes because I feel like doing a little writing this morning anyway.

I'm still trying to figure out for myself what happened. Two months ago, my dad died. It was a long and painful death that I wouldn't wish on anyone. A debilitating stroke followed by 5 years of paralysis ended finally with kidney failure. I cared for him in my home for the last 7 months of his life. I am an EMT, so I knew what was happening to him at each step of the process. He had told me in September that he was ready to die. We had hospice care and a little help from the VA (my dad was a Vietnam vet on full disability) but my mom and I were alone with him when he finally died. 

One of the remarkable things to me about all of this - and what I wanted to tell you about when I heard you talking to Andrew - is that not one member of my very large family (on either side) called me, texted me or even so much as Facebook messaged me. I have an uncle and an aunt (who are both traditional liberals, like me) who did send me handwritten sympathy cards.  

I knew I had alienated some of my family back in Arkansas when I advocated for vaccines and before that when I supported Biden and declared that Trump was a fool. But seriously? No one could pick up a phone to call me and express sympathy after all that I had been through with dad? 

It really made me retrace my steps over the last several years. I scoured through my Facebook posts to try to find the most offensive thing I have said. What could I have done that warranted such utter disrespect? 

On Facebook, I once told one of my cousins that I was sincerely disappointed that she would support Trump just to have the federal government impose her beliefs about gay marriage being an abomination on everyone. I told Billy Graham's son that I thought it was a disgrace that he supported Trump. I told my Aunt that if she wanted to stop abortion, maybe she should stop shirking her responsibilities as a Christian and actually get out and witness to young women. 

That was about all I could find. There really wasn't anything totally outlandish or hateful. I certainly didn't curse anyone out. 

If for no other reason, I would think that my family would see some redeeming quality in me or maybe have some respect for me considering that I have been a "frontline worker" in a big emergency room for the entire duration of the pandemic. 

It seems to me that I am politically homeless and I didn't fully realize, until this happened, that I practically lost my whole family in the process of becoming so. 

I don't know, Bridget. I'm not a great or practiced writer. I have tried a lot over the years. I think I come off as a whiner. But I don't believe my story is atypical. I think there are a lot of Americans like me who have been boiled down to a tribe of one by the hot pot of social media. 

I would just like to be a sense talker, like Andrew said. So I am really on board for Andrew's Forward party. I read his book in almost one sitting. 

But what I'm really looking for is a way to leverage my own experience to help other people see the madness in their own families. Why are we disconnecting from one another so profoundly? 

I'm like you. I love this country and I can't give up on it. 

Sincerely,

Politically Homeless

Some letters have been edited for clarity and brevity. If you'd like to share your story, email us at iampoliticallyhomeless@gmail.com. All submissions will remain anonymous.