Beyond Parody with Bridget Phetasy
Letters from the Politically Homeless
Just Voting Down Ballot - Politically Homeless
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Just Voting Down Ballot - Politically Homeless

Real people. Real letters. Real problems. No solutions.
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Politics these days have become so divided and divisive that it’s become the norm to view the other side of the aisle as “the enemy”. People are being told to “pick a side” and that there’s no room for middle ground. We here at Phetasy believe that there are a lot more people in the middle than politicians and the media would have us believe.

We’re collecting stories from the ever growing number of people who are finding themselves Politically Homeless and posting them here on Substack. If you have moved from conservative to liberal, or liberal to conservative, if you feel you’ve stayed in the same place and your party has swerved drastically away from you, if you had a moment that awakened you to the insanity and hypocrisy on both sides, if you keep your mouth shut anytime a political topic comes up because you’re afraid your opinion will cause you to lose friends or your job, you’re not as alone as you might think.

Our goal is to shine a light on people’s earnest, individual experiences and show them they’re not alone.

Some letters have been edited for clarity and brevity. If you’re politically homeless and would like to share your story, please email us at iampoliticallyhomeless@gmail.com. All submissions will remain anonymous.

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Letter 109:

August 9, 2024

I've been a conservative since about as long as I can remember. I've grown up in a conservative household and took an interest in politics and conservative discourse at a younger age than most. I'm currently 32 and got my start around the mid 00s. 

The past 10 years or so have left me in a political wilderness of sorts. Early on I was repulsed by the rise of Trump, not only because I was put off by his narcissism and dishonesty, but also because of his duplicity on issues and unmatched self-interest. He railed against the Establishment after spending years donating to them.

I was similarly repulsed by the core of his support base. Supposedly these were conservative people, but they paid no mind to Trump's history of decidedly liberal views. They were supposedly sick of politics as usually, but applauded every dishonest line that came from Trump. I threw up my hands after the 2016 convention and voted 3rd party. I was convinced well before the convention chaos that Hillary had already won.

But then Election Night rolled around and I saw the unthinkable: the goofy orange dimwit had won. I wasn't mad or sad, but I was very surprised. I happened across a (pre election day) article from around that time, written by a committed liberal on an irreverent comedy site. Somehow that author understood the Trump phenomenon and explained it better than anyone else I had seen prior, left right or center. In short, the rise of Trump was a blue collar revolution, or at least it seemed like it at the time.

So I gave Trump a chance, and for the first few years of his tenure I was lukewarm on his record. But by 2019 or so, the Democrats' acceleration towards the far left was becoming too much. I committed to voting for Trump, if only as a protest against the party of late term abortion and "drag queen story hour". 

But then I saw the unthinkable again - the goofy orange dimwit lost to a man who could barely campaign or remember his own history. At first I bought into the "stolen election" narratives, but it became clear in the following months that there was not going to be any sort of court case that was going to magically put Trump in the White House. By the time 2022 rolled around, I was deflated by the overall results but energized by the DeSantis victory in Florida, and Trump's return as a candidate. Many including me had identified DeSantis as a rising star, and I was interested to see what might happen next for him.

My enthusiasm didn't last long. In the run up to DeSantis's presidential announcement, I already saw Trump world launching slimey attacks against DeSantis. "Traitor", "sellout", and every other insult in their limited vocabulary. I was again put off by this. Not limited to insults from random nobodies on Facebook, the attacks, lies, and childish insults were coming from some of Trump's favorite people. And all of it was crowding out serious appraisals on important issues, at a time where the country was facing four more years of Biden (later Harris).

MAGA World ate up every last bit of it and repeated every one-liner, ad infinitum, becoming no different from the CNN drones that they considered themselves superior to. No amount of reasoned argument broke through to them, as they spouted the most preposterous statements outside of ShareBlue Twitter. 

It didn't matter if Trump went out of his way to hire RINOs, because DeSantis was the worst RINO of all. People with words like "1776" and "Patriot" in their online bios angrily threw around words like "traitor", never once pondering if they were treating Trump like a king. Substantive criticisms of Trump from a right wing stance were typically categorized as insincere trolling, dishonest RINO propaganda, or boring and irrelevant policy-wonkery for ugly think tank nerds.

Random people can of course be ignored, but the slime is dripping down from the top. Attacks from Trump and his top people have been frequent and grotesque. They're content to scorch the earth and then demand "loyalty", which is only ever a one way street in Trump World. Even while a top Trump surrogate  was outrageously accusing First Lady Casey DeSantis of faking cancer, MAGAdonian crybullies could only whine about how nasty DeSantis' supporters were being. (And yes, Trump is well-acquainted with that surrogate.)

Since Trump has won the nomination, there has been no attempt to mend bridges or build a serious campaign. Pointing this out to MAGA is mostly pointless, and typically invites tiresome "RINO" or "sore loser" accusations. 

There is a very real possibility that Trump will lose to a terrible candidate for the second time in 48 months. None of this will truly matter to delusional Plan Trusters, or the ecosystem of "conservative" grifters who make their money by telling their unserious audiences what they want to hear, instead of what they need to hear. In 2026, Trump will put his thumb on the scale yet again, and saddle the GOP with more dreadful endorsements, as we saw with Dr. Oz, Herschel Walker, and Doug Mastriano. In 2028, Trump will return for a fourth try, or another demagogue will show up to suck up all of the oxygen in the room. The media will promote them to the detriment of every other serious candidate, and the GOP will be worse off for it. MAGAdonians will be too busy eating the delectable lotuses (unfunny Facebook memes) to notice or care.

I am fully aware that many normal and reasonable people will vote for Trump because they've calculated that the good outweighs the bad. Fair enough, I don't actively discourage anyone from doing so. Have fun. But between the botched elections, missed opportunities, slimey behavior,  and his utterly unserious ego campaign, I'm not interested. I'll vote down ballot, but I won't reward the cult or their leader. It doesn't matter much either way, as my state should remain Red... provided that Trump runs out of campaign days before he finds a way to hand it over to Democrats. 

- Homeless in Texas

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Some letters have been edited for clarity and brevity. If you'd like to share your story, email us at iampoliticallyhomeless@gmail.com. All submissions will remain anonymous.

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