Phetasy News - Fighting the "F*ck Its"

Heather Pasternak Is Pursuing More Joy, Politically Homeless - Embrace Humanity, Dumpster Fire 101 (Live) - Extremely Hardcore, Factory Settings - Regret & Limited Edition Merch

Dec 02, 2022

Greetings from the Phetaverse!

It’s that time of year, the gauntlet between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s filled with holiday parties and shopping and Christmas cheer and sometimes, depression.

In the past, this time of year would be smack dab in middle of a bender that stretched from Halloween, through my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and end right after New Years when I would promise myself this was the year I’d get my shit together. That usually lasted roughly two weeks. Those holidays in my twenties were sloppy. One year I woke up on a couch in a living room to a friend’s father handing me a coffee, “Merry Christmas, Bridget.” It was humiliating, but at least I was clothed.

Even after I got sober, I find myself getting the “fuck its” this time of year. Any of the gains I’ve made throughout the year I could easily erase. You can spend that savings, rack up debt, put on all those pounds you spent months losing. In just three weeks you can undo the effort of months or even years. Proof that building is so much harder than destroying. The metaphor I always use is breaking my ankle on the dismount.

The psychology around this time of year is fascinating to me. As it’s right before the new year, it’s easy to just tell yourself, “Ah fuck it. I’ll start over in the new year.” But actually, this is when it really matters. This is when you need those habits you’ve put in place to carry you. This is when you dig deep and push yourself.

Because I’m a proud Basic Bitch, I was one of the millions of people who got a Peleton in November 2020, just to stay sane. I wasn’t sure I’d use it because I hated cycling, but I ended up getting addicted. Now that I’m back on the bike after pregnancy and recovery, I try to ride every morning. Sure, I love the workouts but I’m really there for the silly pep talks the instructors give. “This doesn’t get easier, you get stronger,” Denis Morton says to the backdrop of Sex on Fire by the Kings of Leon.

Today was all about consistency over time and staying on the beam all the way through the end of the race. Not to the end. Through it. And that’s what I’m determined to do as we approach the end of this year. Double down on my good habits. Finish those projects I need to get done. Maintain that consistency and push just a little bit harder.

As my Power Zone endurance instructor Olivia Amato said today, “What do we do when we see the finish line? WE DON’T SLOW DOWN!”