Phetasy News - Don't Blink
Factory Settings 3 - New Parenthood, Lee Camp Says America Doesn't Have A Left Wing Party, Politically Homeless But Still Believes in Left Values, Keep Calm & Dumpster On
Greetings from the Phetaverse
The most common refrain you hear when you have a child is “don’t blink.” Four months into my daughter’s new life I know exactly what the battle worn parents who have gone before me mean when they say, “The days are long, the years are short.”
Matilda had her first bit of people food this week. Already. She got her first two teeth. Already. If this keeps up, she will be driving tomorrow. I kid, but that’s how it feels. I want to cling to every moment, soak up the feeling of her sleeping on my chest — she’s already so big and I know it won’t be for much longer. I want to bottle her smile in the morning and take it with me into eternity.
This week my husband and I launched another episode of our podcast, Factory Settings, which we recorded when Matilda was two months old. As Jeren remarked, “I can’t tell if that feels like forever ago—or yesterday.” Time really is a flat circle.
She’d just had her first set of shots. I can hear the exhaustion in my voice. I can also hear the grief as my OBGYN had just tragically passed away. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about him. It seems like just yesterday he was sitting across from me at my two week appointment, cracking jokes and telling me I have to have another kid. I also think about his family and how they must still be in shock. How they were robbed of so many moments--and how they must cling to the ones they have.
One of the tragedies of the past few years of COVID is the time we won’t get back. The moments and rites of passage that we were all collectively robbed of with our loved ones. As someone mentioned in a recent Letter from the Politically Homeless, in some extreme instances, people weren’t able to be with friends and family during their final moments. A barbaric decision I hope we learn from and live to regret—and I hope the people who made that decision live to see the consequences. They took something sacred.
That life goes by in the blink of an eye is true when you have a child. But it’s true for all of us. We get caught up in the days. Caught up in the grind. Caught up in our own bullshit. But are we present? Are we kissing our spouse on their way out the door? Are we really playing with our child—or is our mind somewhere else?
The expression “killing time” has always cracked me up. We don’t kill time. Time kills us. Use it wisely. Don’t blink.
Thumbnail artwork by Lara Cullen.
Email laracullenstudio@gmail.com to inquire or contact her.