I'm feeling this so hard right now. People I have worked, played, laughed and cried with for 4 decades have cancelled me in recent weeks. Either because I said men cannot be women, or that victims of crimes committed by people in our country illegally deserve recognition and justice. It hurts. Not just because they've shunned me, but because they hold my memories. They were there for the events that make up my life. They're the people who can color in all the details when I say "remember when?" We once agreed on most of the big political positions, but I didn't love them for their politics. I loved them because we laughed at each other's jokes. We were in the trenches of local radio together. We could speak volumes and be understood with nothing more than a raised eyebrow or sideways glance. I'm angry and hurt and feel abused and misunderstood and yet I miss them. There's temptation to beg forgiveness for my 'wrongthink' and crawl back into their good graces as the prodigal daughter. But I can't do that, because it would mean betraying my own mind and heart. Thank you for this wonderful essay, Bridget. I feel seen and just a little less lonely. It means a lot.
I’ve been listening to you sporadically for a few years. You point out the absurdities that often have me yelling, “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!” À la Zoolander. Please also know that as a 65 year old female, I often feel like I’m the only one who can actually see the insanity as about 1/2 my friends would still hate Trump even if he cured cancer. In addition to the things you mentioned, one current trend could use a bit of your excellent commentary. This new therapy-driven trend of young adults cutting off or going no contact with their parents. It’s real & it’s scary. The algorithms of social media want me to live in constant fear of the possibility that my offspring may at any moment choose to divorce me, never tell me why & close the door on our future. The most upsetting thing about this is that you know the same algorithms are encouraging them every day to see every interaction with their parents as trauma & abuse & instability that requires a take it or leave it response. Venting, I’m sorry, but I just wanted to introduce to you that some of the normie women who enjoy your article & “being seen” are older, retired ladies who would happily see a play at the Trump-Kennedy Center & live quietly in suburbs where we feel the need to lay kind of low!
Sixty-eight years old and I am so glad to have read your post! I was beginning to suspect that I had “aged out” of yet another substack writer. I’m not even sure where or how I found the “Love Letter” link to Bridget’s substack. I look forward to having a place where sanity lives.
I have been married for 48 years to a wonderful man who drives me crazy but we are a team. Two adult children who share our sanity and normie status. I am blessed at home.
Out in the real world is a different situation. I don’t talk politics and do much non-committal nodding just to get along without unnecessary and pointless drama.
I’m hopeful that this substack will soothe my disturbing thoughts that most women are insane harpies—especially Boomers.
Hi, Sherry. I am feeling so similarly. Thank you for putting it into words. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know I would endure the same if I said what I truly thought and so I just say silent and distant with those people which is cowardly. I’m sad and lonely and worried about never being able to replace them.
I've held my tongue too. I was really depressed about this for a couple of weeks following a Facebook pile-on. (I posted a meme saying victims of illegal criminals don't get much attention) But I'm past it now. If they can't take even the most mild pushback to their stupid ideas, they aren't worth the effort.
I do see you and know what it's like. I am so sorry you have to deal with that. Here are the three hills I will die on, guaranteed to make absolutely everyone angry: 1) Men cannot be women. Ever. 2) Abortion is women's business. God gave women the power of pregnancy to women, not men. 3) There is no sugar in cornbread (I'm from the south).
LOL! I have always been pro-abortion rights, but my opinion has changed in recent years. I think there are instances where it is necessary, but I also think my generation was much too casual about it. I'm 70 and childless and I certainly was. I thought I would go on to have kids when it was more convenient, but it didn't work out that way because life is unpredictable. Total agreement that men can never be women and can't believe we have to keep saying this over and over! On cornbread, I feel cheated when it tastes like cake. I'm making a batch tonight. It's buttermilk in cast iron and it is so good with that browned butter crisping it up. I do add a tiny amount of sugar because I think it gives it a bit of moisture, but it's certainly not sweet. Now I'm hungry. Better get my ass in the kitchen!
Blasphemer! :) Ahem...I grew up Baptist. Have you seen Ina Garten's recipe for cheese and jalapeno cornbread? Three cups of flour, one cup of cornmeal and (I think) a cup of sugar. Lovely little NY Hamptons lady who doesn't know from cornbread. I did make the recipe as a cake though (no cheese or peppers) and it turned out pretty well as a dessert.
I grew up non-denominational Christian, so Baptist-adjacent in Southern Indiana, so South-adjacent as well. Get this: At one time I had enough cornmeal stock-piled to feed a survivalist camp for 6 months. Went to the pantry last night to find that I had NONE. So I used polenta. I didn't like the texture. My recipe uses 3/4 cup flour to 1 1/4 cup corn meal. I should have flipped the measurement. But it's ok, because it's pretty good this morning, toasted with lots of butter. Yep, Ina's recipe is CAKE. But you knew what to do! Sometimes I make that Sicilian orange cake with cornmeal and olive oil and it's awfully good.
This might be my absolute favorite thing I have ever read. I'm going to include it in a Substack post tomorrow, above the paywall, and encourage everyone to read it.
Thank you for remembering those of us who didn't want or weren't fortunate enough to have spouses and children. It's really hard alone, and having almost everyone around you assume your belief system (bc single professional, urban), makes it so much lonelier. I'm so glad you walked into the room 😉.
Can relate! Am a 43 soon to be 44 first time mom of a 2 year old! A little hippie left in me still, lover of Jesus, nature, plants and music. Based in reality but often feeling alone in this world of lunacy. My husband and I watch Dumpster Fire on a regular basis --thanka for the laughs and perspective.
Love this piece. I'm a normie woman and a normie therapist living in a world that has gone bat-shit crazy. No political party represents me. I am grateful that I have a handful of friends I can be honest with. It is hard to stay sane in a culture that has gone crazy. Laughing at the absurdity helps. As does cooking, knitting, taking walks, and watching Dumpster Fired. Thanks for keeping me laughing during this crazy time.
Hi Jennifer fellow normie therapist here. I wanted to tell you about some groups that have been cathartic for me, in case you haven’t heard of them and are looking for comraderie! Open Therapy Institute, Braver Angels, and Solid Ground. :)
I'm a member of OTI. I'm not a member of Solid Ground, but have been on Radical Center two times (shortly after Leslie started her channel) so I'm aware of it. I'm part of a professional therapy group that focuses on providing therapy to gender-distressed youth. I feel like this is the biggest medical/mental health/social scandal of our lifetime. It helps to be part of a group of normie therapists just trying to be better therapists to those who are suffering and need help to move towards the lives they want.
Thank you for doing this work. I agree “gender medicine” is the greatest medical scandal of our time. 70 years from now we’ll talk about it like we talk about lobotomies.
Thanks for mentioning OTI. I just submitted the form for a referral. I've been needing to see a therapist for quite some time but my last experience with one was horrible. I told her once that I couldn't make her suggested next appointment time because I had a radical feminist meeting (which was my way of dipping my toes in to find out whether I could actually be honest about a major, MAJOR source of my anxiety and distress)- and from that point on she would steer our discussions to my supposed lack of empathy (which wasn't a thing before) and sometimes sprinkle in stories about her transgender patients as though I should look to them as inspiration in resilience. I never reacted to any of her unprofessional conduct but I did leave pretty quickly and more or less wrote off the profession.
Hi Lauren- I’m so sorry that happened to you. How discouraging. Happy to know you saw my comment about OTI and hope it leads to you finding an ethical, non-activist therapist.
I’ve lost all my long term female friendships, made a couple new friendships but I still miss having a core group of women who were like sisters so much. I also miss not walking on eggshells all the damn time. Tip toeing around subjects to find out if the new people I meet will automatically hate me because I may not agree with them on something. I just want the world to be sane again!
I want to go to brunch on Sundays and talk shit and laugh and dance and just enjoy life.
It’s hard out here for a normie woman but at least I’m not alone. 💜
I don't have it in me to try to explain it all right now. So I'll keep it short
Thank You. I'm trying not to cry. Now I know why someone gifted me a subscription a few years ago. And why I've kept renewing it. I need the reminder that I am not alone and the nonsense that gets attention is not all there is.
I live in one of the bluest areas in the country and have a sibling who works in politics. I can’t talk to a single person in my life about current events except my husband, and then only *very* cautiously.
I could handle it if people around me thought normie beliefs were misguided or a difference of opinion. But they view them as actually evil and see themselves as the good guys in some kind of spiritual warfare. It’s very scary.
Sometimes I run through my viewpoints wondering if I’m the bad guy. But I clearly remember a time when they were just common sense. I also know my Greatest Gen grandparents would share them if they were alive today. So I just do what they would want me to: Keep on going.
I can so relate to this. Even my 2 brothers don't know exactly what I think, politically, and while I'm not sure they'd cut me off for my beliefs, they would at least put me in the 'far right' box, just for having what I consider normal, middle of the road opinions, which only yesterday were held by people on the left, as I used to be.
The labelling of people as fascists, just for not going along with concepts that were dreamt up yesterday, is truly frightening and disorientating.
I also live in a very blue area and many, many people I know are very left. Interestingly most of my girlfriends who aren't, did not grow up in the US and moved here from other countries as adults, like I did. I am part of an amazing mums group but in the last five years I have realized that I cannot say many things without them being completely misconstrued or having no nuance. I don't like Trump. But I also don't like whatever is happening on the Left. But saying that nets you a stern word from either side so *shrugs shoulders*
I don't like him, either, though I think he would be fun one-on-one. But here's the thing: I didn't vote for a best friend. I didn't vote for a prom date. I voted for a thug (how else do you get anything built in NYC?) and an a$$hole in order to deal with thugs and a$$holes around the world. Then again, I guess I make Vlad the Impaler look like a nursery school teacher because I am so disgusted with how crazy and woke people are today.
I love this so much. I was just telling my husband this morning what a relief it’s been to discover Substack. I desperately needed the reassurance that I’m not the insane one!
Thank you! I have felt crazy ever since March 2020. I really felt like I was in a movie and everyone else was hypnotized, including my husband. So I ran for school board and started trying to wake people up. It has been slow hard work and I am still constantly battling insanity. I just subscribed. Shout out to Jennifer Sey for reposting this. You both rock!
Gender differences not withstanding, it’s the same for the normies on the male side of things. And trying to find a normy woman who doesn’t condemn you for not thinking in extremes is really tough, so the positive responses to this article gives me a little hope.
Maybe I was unlucky, or it’s my uber woke city but last time I dipped my toe into dating I had trouble with woke males. One turned up wearing a keffiyeh and didn’t appreciate my joking comment, another didn’t like my support for free speech.
Geez. That’s rough. I guess some guys are genuinely super woke, but also some guys just think, or have been conditioned to think they have a better chance, on average, of getting dates if they at least acted that way. I know the last few things I’ve had with women would have lasted longer if I bent the knee and went along with their progressive ideologies.
To illustrate this point, I give you "White Dudes for Harris." Brought to you by the lecturing moron, Mrs. Frazzled. That's her internet name. She is Arielle Fodor. Look up the video. I dare you. And don't eat anything beforehand lest you throw up.
I'm feeling this so hard right now. People I have worked, played, laughed and cried with for 4 decades have cancelled me in recent weeks. Either because I said men cannot be women, or that victims of crimes committed by people in our country illegally deserve recognition and justice. It hurts. Not just because they've shunned me, but because they hold my memories. They were there for the events that make up my life. They're the people who can color in all the details when I say "remember when?" We once agreed on most of the big political positions, but I didn't love them for their politics. I loved them because we laughed at each other's jokes. We were in the trenches of local radio together. We could speak volumes and be understood with nothing more than a raised eyebrow or sideways glance. I'm angry and hurt and feel abused and misunderstood and yet I miss them. There's temptation to beg forgiveness for my 'wrongthink' and crawl back into their good graces as the prodigal daughter. But I can't do that, because it would mean betraying my own mind and heart. Thank you for this wonderful essay, Bridget. I feel seen and just a little less lonely. It means a lot.
This makes my day! I know the feeling so week and it’s why I wrote this. We aren’t islands alone out there, we just have to find each other.
So well
I’ve been listening to you sporadically for a few years. You point out the absurdities that often have me yelling, “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!” À la Zoolander. Please also know that as a 65 year old female, I often feel like I’m the only one who can actually see the insanity as about 1/2 my friends would still hate Trump even if he cured cancer. In addition to the things you mentioned, one current trend could use a bit of your excellent commentary. This new therapy-driven trend of young adults cutting off or going no contact with their parents. It’s real & it’s scary. The algorithms of social media want me to live in constant fear of the possibility that my offspring may at any moment choose to divorce me, never tell me why & close the door on our future. The most upsetting thing about this is that you know the same algorithms are encouraging them every day to see every interaction with their parents as trauma & abuse & instability that requires a take it or leave it response. Venting, I’m sorry, but I just wanted to introduce to you that some of the normie women who enjoy your article & “being seen” are older, retired ladies who would happily see a play at the Trump-Kennedy Center & live quietly in suburbs where we feel the need to lay kind of low!
Sixty-eight years old and I am so glad to have read your post! I was beginning to suspect that I had “aged out” of yet another substack writer. I’m not even sure where or how I found the “Love Letter” link to Bridget’s substack. I look forward to having a place where sanity lives.
I have been married for 48 years to a wonderful man who drives me crazy but we are a team. Two adult children who share our sanity and normie status. I am blessed at home.
Out in the real world is a different situation. I don’t talk politics and do much non-committal nodding just to get along without unnecessary and pointless drama.
I’m hopeful that this substack will soothe my disturbing thoughts that most women are insane harpies—especially Boomers.
Hi, Sherry. I am feeling so similarly. Thank you for putting it into words. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know I would endure the same if I said what I truly thought and so I just say silent and distant with those people which is cowardly. I’m sad and lonely and worried about never being able to replace them.
I've held my tongue too. I was really depressed about this for a couple of weeks following a Facebook pile-on. (I posted a meme saying victims of illegal criminals don't get much attention) But I'm past it now. If they can't take even the most mild pushback to their stupid ideas, they aren't worth the effort.
🤍
I do see you and know what it's like. I am so sorry you have to deal with that. Here are the three hills I will die on, guaranteed to make absolutely everyone angry: 1) Men cannot be women. Ever. 2) Abortion is women's business. God gave women the power of pregnancy to women, not men. 3) There is no sugar in cornbread (I'm from the south).
LOL! I have always been pro-abortion rights, but my opinion has changed in recent years. I think there are instances where it is necessary, but I also think my generation was much too casual about it. I'm 70 and childless and I certainly was. I thought I would go on to have kids when it was more convenient, but it didn't work out that way because life is unpredictable. Total agreement that men can never be women and can't believe we have to keep saying this over and over! On cornbread, I feel cheated when it tastes like cake. I'm making a batch tonight. It's buttermilk in cast iron and it is so good with that browned butter crisping it up. I do add a tiny amount of sugar because I think it gives it a bit of moisture, but it's certainly not sweet. Now I'm hungry. Better get my ass in the kitchen!
Blasphemer! :) Ahem...I grew up Baptist. Have you seen Ina Garten's recipe for cheese and jalapeno cornbread? Three cups of flour, one cup of cornmeal and (I think) a cup of sugar. Lovely little NY Hamptons lady who doesn't know from cornbread. I did make the recipe as a cake though (no cheese or peppers) and it turned out pretty well as a dessert.
I grew up non-denominational Christian, so Baptist-adjacent in Southern Indiana, so South-adjacent as well. Get this: At one time I had enough cornmeal stock-piled to feed a survivalist camp for 6 months. Went to the pantry last night to find that I had NONE. So I used polenta. I didn't like the texture. My recipe uses 3/4 cup flour to 1 1/4 cup corn meal. I should have flipped the measurement. But it's ok, because it's pretty good this morning, toasted with lots of butter. Yep, Ina's recipe is CAKE. But you knew what to do! Sometimes I make that Sicilian orange cake with cornmeal and olive oil and it's awfully good.
This might be my absolute favorite thing I have ever read. I'm going to include it in a Substack post tomorrow, above the paywall, and encourage everyone to read it.
Almost as good as "Where are the feminists!" 😘
Thank you for remembering those of us who didn't want or weren't fortunate enough to have spouses and children. It's really hard alone, and having almost everyone around you assume your belief system (bc single professional, urban), makes it so much lonelier. I'm so glad you walked into the room 😉.
Not a woman, but I read it and loved it anyway.
Always appreciate you, Bridget! Us normie women are in this together! Just keep going, ladies. ❤️
Normies unite.
We’ll need meet ups in normie locations. East coast is out🤣
Not just America. The same thoughts are happening to women across the western world (the rest are mad in a whole different way)
Yup. I live in a small Antipodean city that is insanely woke, stuffed to the gunnals with walking cliches. Every day brings a new be-clowning.
Can relate! Am a 43 soon to be 44 first time mom of a 2 year old! A little hippie left in me still, lover of Jesus, nature, plants and music. Based in reality but often feeling alone in this world of lunacy. My husband and I watch Dumpster Fire on a regular basis --thanka for the laughs and perspective.
Love this piece. I'm a normie woman and a normie therapist living in a world that has gone bat-shit crazy. No political party represents me. I am grateful that I have a handful of friends I can be honest with. It is hard to stay sane in a culture that has gone crazy. Laughing at the absurdity helps. As does cooking, knitting, taking walks, and watching Dumpster Fired. Thanks for keeping me laughing during this crazy time.
Hi Jennifer fellow normie therapist here. I wanted to tell you about some groups that have been cathartic for me, in case you haven’t heard of them and are looking for comraderie! Open Therapy Institute, Braver Angels, and Solid Ground. :)
I'm a member of OTI. I'm not a member of Solid Ground, but have been on Radical Center two times (shortly after Leslie started her channel) so I'm aware of it. I'm part of a professional therapy group that focuses on providing therapy to gender-distressed youth. I feel like this is the biggest medical/mental health/social scandal of our lifetime. It helps to be part of a group of normie therapists just trying to be better therapists to those who are suffering and need help to move towards the lives they want.
Yes, absolutely. That’s hard and courageous work. My name is Betsy Hudson. Nice to cross paths with you and hope to do so again in the future!
Thank you for doing this work. I agree “gender medicine” is the greatest medical scandal of our time. 70 years from now we’ll talk about it like we talk about lobotomies.
Thanks for mentioning OTI. I just submitted the form for a referral. I've been needing to see a therapist for quite some time but my last experience with one was horrible. I told her once that I couldn't make her suggested next appointment time because I had a radical feminist meeting (which was my way of dipping my toes in to find out whether I could actually be honest about a major, MAJOR source of my anxiety and distress)- and from that point on she would steer our discussions to my supposed lack of empathy (which wasn't a thing before) and sometimes sprinkle in stories about her transgender patients as though I should look to them as inspiration in resilience. I never reacted to any of her unprofessional conduct but I did leave pretty quickly and more or less wrote off the profession.
Hi Lauren- I’m so sorry that happened to you. How discouraging. Happy to know you saw my comment about OTI and hope it leads to you finding an ethical, non-activist therapist.
I don’t have a clinical role, but I work for a mental health charity in the UK and, let’s just say, I’m exhausted by it all.
Thank you Bridget!
I’ve lost all my long term female friendships, made a couple new friendships but I still miss having a core group of women who were like sisters so much. I also miss not walking on eggshells all the damn time. Tip toeing around subjects to find out if the new people I meet will automatically hate me because I may not agree with them on something. I just want the world to be sane again!
I want to go to brunch on Sundays and talk shit and laugh and dance and just enjoy life.
It’s hard out here for a normie woman but at least I’m not alone. 💜
I can’t even tell you how much I relate to these feelings! Particularly the feeling of walking on eggshells constantly 😪
I don't have it in me to try to explain it all right now. So I'll keep it short
Thank You. I'm trying not to cry. Now I know why someone gifted me a subscription a few years ago. And why I've kept renewing it. I need the reminder that I am not alone and the nonsense that gets attention is not all there is.
<3
MASA.....Make America Sane Again
I feel this so hard.
I live in one of the bluest areas in the country and have a sibling who works in politics. I can’t talk to a single person in my life about current events except my husband, and then only *very* cautiously.
I could handle it if people around me thought normie beliefs were misguided or a difference of opinion. But they view them as actually evil and see themselves as the good guys in some kind of spiritual warfare. It’s very scary.
Sometimes I run through my viewpoints wondering if I’m the bad guy. But I clearly remember a time when they were just common sense. I also know my Greatest Gen grandparents would share them if they were alive today. So I just do what they would want me to: Keep on going.
I miss the Greatest Gen more every day.
I can so relate to this. Even my 2 brothers don't know exactly what I think, politically, and while I'm not sure they'd cut me off for my beliefs, they would at least put me in the 'far right' box, just for having what I consider normal, middle of the road opinions, which only yesterday were held by people on the left, as I used to be.
The labelling of people as fascists, just for not going along with concepts that were dreamt up yesterday, is truly frightening and disorientating.
I’m right here with you. 🙏
I also live in a very blue area and many, many people I know are very left. Interestingly most of my girlfriends who aren't, did not grow up in the US and moved here from other countries as adults, like I did. I am part of an amazing mums group but in the last five years I have realized that I cannot say many things without them being completely misconstrued or having no nuance. I don't like Trump. But I also don't like whatever is happening on the Left. But saying that nets you a stern word from either side so *shrugs shoulders*
I don't like him, either, though I think he would be fun one-on-one. But here's the thing: I didn't vote for a best friend. I didn't vote for a prom date. I voted for a thug (how else do you get anything built in NYC?) and an a$$hole in order to deal with thugs and a$$holes around the world. Then again, I guess I make Vlad the Impaler look like a nursery school teacher because I am so disgusted with how crazy and woke people are today.
I love this so much. I was just telling my husband this morning what a relief it’s been to discover Substack. I desperately needed the reassurance that I’m not the insane one!
Thank you! I have felt crazy ever since March 2020. I really felt like I was in a movie and everyone else was hypnotized, including my husband. So I ran for school board and started trying to wake people up. It has been slow hard work and I am still constantly battling insanity. I just subscribed. Shout out to Jennifer Sey for reposting this. You both rock!
As a former slut living in suburbs, I feel seen.
Heyooooooo 😉
Heyooooooooo😜
Gender differences not withstanding, it’s the same for the normies on the male side of things. And trying to find a normy woman who doesn’t condemn you for not thinking in extremes is really tough, so the positive responses to this article gives me a little hope.
Maybe I was unlucky, or it’s my uber woke city but last time I dipped my toe into dating I had trouble with woke males. One turned up wearing a keffiyeh and didn’t appreciate my joking comment, another didn’t like my support for free speech.
Geez. That’s rough. I guess some guys are genuinely super woke, but also some guys just think, or have been conditioned to think they have a better chance, on average, of getting dates if they at least acted that way. I know the last few things I’ve had with women would have lasted longer if I bent the knee and went along with their progressive ideologies.
To illustrate this point, I give you "White Dudes for Harris." Brought to you by the lecturing moron, Mrs. Frazzled. That's her internet name. She is Arielle Fodor. Look up the video. I dare you. And don't eat anything beforehand lest you throw up.
Yeah it really sucks hard to be a 'normie' male, especially if dating.
No words for how much I love this!