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These are not your ordinary greeting cards. We’ve included disclaimers on the cards in order to protect our asses legally, but we thought we should include some general rules and guidelines regarding the trade and use of PHETASIES on the free (and the black) market.

1. Giving a PHETASY to someone is a task not to be taken lightly. They are meant to shed light upon the irony and humor that exist even in the darkest of hours. Certain recipients will not be amused.

2. These cards are not meant for mass consumption. Particularly the type of person who takes themself way too seriously. To those people we say: If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Sensataurus Rex.

3. Therefore, the recipient of a PHETASY cannot be a sissy-crybaby-wussy-pants.

4. Do not under any circumstances let a PHETASY fall into the wrong hands; especially those who would use a PHETASY for evil.

5. Twisted scoundrels beware: those who use these cards maliciously shall be condemned to the depths of hell when they die. And so it was written. And so it shall be.

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