Procrastination at Work

So here I am. It’s Monday and I’m trying to think of something brilliant and/or funny to write, which I can’t. So I’m just going to bore you to with my brain as it’s working (or, rather, not working) today.

After a weird week, followed by an even weirder weekend, I woke up with my head all over the place. What did I even do this past weekend? It went by so fast.

I have company arriving tomorrow, so I have to get rations, flowers and a bed so she can have the raft I’ve been sleeping on for 5 months (aka a blow up mattress). I love the feeling of levitating and all, but I think my back is starting to suffer from sleeping on a cloud of air. Frankly, I have no idea how angels do it. Good thing I'm not going to heaven.

So back to this morning…directly after a long mental tangent followed by a laundry list of things to do, I immediately set myself up for failure and said, out loud, to no one in particular: “I don’t feel like doing a God damn thing.” I wanted to pack a lunch and head up the coast to Malibu for a day of playing hookey on the beach. Some might call it sunbathing. Some might call it laziness. Some might call it stupid. I call it “better preparing myself for global warming.”

Here’s what’s on the agenda for this Monday that is quickly escaping me: I’m doing lunch in Beverly Hills followed by some furniture shopping on LaBrea. Directly after that I’m coming home to make myself vomit; not only because I’m disgusted with myself because I sound “so L.A.” but also, because I’ve recently decided I should become bulimic. It’s all the rage right now.

There is a Balinese store having a moving sale in Hollywood. All this amazing stuff is half off and the offers are too good to refuse. The other day I got a side table and mirror there. Now I’m seriously contemplating spending some dough on the credit card to finally get some furniture for this place. Here is the decision I currently struggle with: Do I capitalize on the opportunity to get really nice stuff while I can for amazing prices or do I play it safe and frugal (not usually my style)? By the time I pay the interest it’s not really that much of an amazing deal now is it….Are you riveted yet? Keep reading. It gets better.

When moving the mirror I procured--I don’t even know how it happened-- I dropped it and it scratched my chin. It didn’t hurt when it happened. Now it looks took a face dive on a sidewalk. Between that and the mysterious scratch on my arm, I look like I’m five and had a nasty incident involving the monkey bars. I think it’s cute and gives me character. My friend said it looked like a lesion. Other tough decisions: Do I put a cute Little Mermaid Band-Aid on it and try to pass it off as a fashion statement? Do I tell everyone it’s a nasty skateboarding injury? Do I rock it like it’s 1982? Or do I tell everyone the truth?: I’m just a stubborn dumb ass who refuses to ever ask for help and got attacked by a terroristic teak mirror from India in a brutal struggle.

These are the thoughts that plague me. These are the things I wrestle with. I know they seem trivial and superficial, and they, like, totally are, but….whatever. I’m not at the beach now am I? I’m about to start doing the final inventory of my shirts. I have to send out some invoices. And mail some packages. Maybe head down to City Hall to get that parking permit I’ve been procrastinating on for my guest. Grocery shop. And that’s all before 3:00 PST. Sound like fun yet? Actually, you have no idea what a blast I’m having. And I mean that without a hint of sarcasm.

I know where I’m going, but I have no idea how I’m going to get there. I know what needs to be done, but I have no idea what I’m doing. But it’s not about knowing. It’s about making moves. And it’s about the adventure-- the crazy, unpredictable wild ride called life. Empires weren’t built in a day. And they certainly weren’t built from the beach. But they were built wisely executing one boring, mundane decision after another and blindly hoping for the best. On that note: I’M BURNIN’ DAYLIGHT!!!!