This Is Dedicated to My Sisters Everywhere

Someday, if I ever win an award, I won’t be thanking my mother—I’ll be thanking Jay-Z.  Oh sure, I’m grateful to my mom for giving birth to me and many other things--like how to cook, my olive complexion and my cute tush--but it was Jay-Z who truly provided the guidance I needed to survive in a cold, harsh world:
  1. State Your Purpose. “I told you in ninety-six that I came to take this shit and I did, handle my biz.”  The only thing you have in life is your word.  Do what you say you’re going to do.  Commit to something.  Follow through.  Don’t commit with words if you can’t back it up with ACTION.  Follow through is everything.
  2. Be Yourself. “No matter where u go u are what u are player,  And u can try to change but that’s just the top layer, Man u was who u was ‘for u got here.”  Any mother can tell you every child is born with an innate personality.  It’s just who you ARE.  The trick--in a world constantly trying to tell you who you are or who to be—is to REMAIN that enthusiastic soul. It sounds so simple—but it is one of the single hardest things you will ever be called to do. 
  3. Never Settle.  “Foolish pride is what held me together through the years/I wasn't felt which is why I ain't never played myself/I just play the hand I'm dealt, I can't say I've never knelt/before God and asked for better cards at times to no avail/But I never sat back feelin sorry for myself/If you don't give me heaven I'll raise hell/'Til it's heaven.”  Never settle for less than you deserve.  Never quit.  Never let anyone slow you down.  Never wait for the phone to ring.  Keep moving.  And brush that dirt off your shoulder, folks.  It feels good.
  4. The Hustlin’ Way.  “Hustling's still inside of me, and as far as progress you'd be hard-pressed, to find another rapper hot as me.”  This is the basic theme of every Jay-Z song.  & it’s the predominant way I’ve made it this far.  Fake it ‘til ya make it, but make sure you can back it up.
  5. Warrior Spirit. “Came from bottom the bottom-to the Top of the Pops”  I don’t know about you, but I love a rags-to-riches story.  Who doesn’t?  Because it takes a strong spirit to be able see through your dismal surroundings and imagine something greater.  Something bigger than you.  A vision that compels you, drives you, pushes you to carry on when the odds are against you, the world is against you & the Gods are plotting your assassination.  Find a vision that moves you & hold on to it for dear life.  
  6. Make Moves.  “What the hell are you waiting for?” Goes without saying. Take action.  We live in an increasingly fast-paced competitive world. It’s Darwinian out there, folks. While you sit around second-guessing yourself, hesitating and waiting for something to happen to you-- someone else is hustling an opportunity, taking a chance and creating their own luck.  Get off your ass.
  7. Confidence/Self-Esteem. ”When you think back, you thought that/you would never make it this far, then you/take advantage of the luck you handed/Or the talent, you been given/Ain't no, half steppin, ain't no, no slippin”  Prior to the age of 30, I consider the “years I had no self-esteem.”  It’s true.  I had none.  I was just an insecure girl; searching for love, approval, self-worth, affirmation & a host of other things I was unable to give myself.  But the HOV gave me hope. Hope that someday I could look back & be proud of woman I had become. Every centimeter of self-esteem that I have, I’ve earned the hard way, over many years & through many jackasses who never deserved to lay a hand on me. Ladies especially, guard your self-esteem, protectively, like a father would his little girl.  If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.  If you don't set standards for yourself, they will be set for you--& I promise--you will be low-balled.
  8. Determination/Focus. “Record companies told me I couldn't cut it Now look at me, all star-studded”  Never give up.  Never, never, never, never, never, never, NEVER give up.  Don’t listen to anyone who tells you can’t do something.  That kind of energy is useless.  Rid your life of toxicity & the people who spread it.
  9. Honor. “I never asked for nothin I don't demand of myself Honesty, loyalty, friends and then wealth.”  This is one of about a million examples from the Jay-Z School of Life.  I like his school.  I’ve attended it. It’s honest, straightforward & realistic.  Most importantly, he doesn’t apologize for who he is, where he came from, how he got here & how much money he's made doing so. 
  10. Best Revenge Is a Life Well Lived.  “I’m not lookin’ at you dudes, I’m lookin’ past ya.”  My mantra for the past decade.  Have a vision.  Stay focused on it.  Don’t get distracted by petty shit.  Look past all the haters and keep your eye on the prize.  There is only one way to go--and that's straight for your destiny.
  11. Self-Reliance. “Niggaz pray and pray on my downfall/ But everytime I hit the ground I bounce up like roundball”  All of us are going to experience up & downs, loss & profit, joy & grief.  What differentiates the strong from the weak is how they respond to life’s challenges.  All of Jay-Z’s lyrics in one way or another usually touch upon this theme.  So does my favorite poem in the world: Rudyard Kipling’s “IF” (which if you haven’t read—read immediately). 
  12. Self-Defense.  "Let me tell you dudes what I’d do to protect this, shoot at you actors like movie directors.” He’s made it clear not to fuck with him.  And he’s made it clear if you stand in his way, he will destroy you.  That’s not ego.  That’s called being a real man.  And when it looked like Rihanna might go back to her scumbag boyfriend, Chris Brown, it’s no secret Jay-Z intervened.  Good for you Jay-Z!!  Thank Fucking God!!!  That’s the example that HAS to be set!  Every.  Time.  LADIES: YOU CAN’T GO BACK TO A MAN WHO HIT YOU.  EVER.  Whether you are famous or not, putting up with abuse sets an example, whether it’s for little girls everywhere, or little girls under your roof.   My mom would still be with Chris.  Wait a minute…in fact…
...but that’s neither here nor there.   From the bottom of my heart, thank you Jay-Z, for everything…now quit retiring and never stop throwin’ it down.  You save people.  You definitely saved me…and continue to...lately, I’m hangin’ on your every word.