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Coachella 2006- Part I: We're Guards |
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Coachella 2006- Part I: We're Guards
 Sean in full guard attire.
Friday around noon we left Los Angeles and headed towards Coachella, where our passes were graciously provided for us courtesy of Global Inheritance When we arrived at the festival site, Eric instructed us to wait at the “bone-yard” until he came to fetch us (the bone-yard is the area behind the festival scenes where equipment such as cranes, fork lifts, golf carts, trailers, etc. are stored). While we were waiting we took the opportunity to befriend “Big Jim,” (as we affectionately dubbed him) who was in charge of all the rental equipment. The 20 minutes we spent befriending Big Jim would prove to be invaluable. After Eric arrived, and before we were distributed our vendor passes, we assessed the situation we decided that we should procure another Gator (basically a beefy, four-wheel drive golf cart for those of you who don’t know by now). Without Vendor bracelets, tickets or any other item that would define our legitimate role at the festival, our new friend Jim handed us the keys to a Gator, whereas we hopped in it and got right to work. Eric looked nothing short of perplexed when we drove up on that thing since he was unaware of our finagling/schmoozing capabilities at this point. Sean basically captained that Gator for the next four days straight and didn’t let go. We were there to work, there was a lot to do, and we meant business. Bridget and Sean manning the Gator
Our responsibilities during pre-production basically included cleaning up the art enhanced recycling bins (you can see all of them at Global Inheritance), building recycling signs, moving various bits of equipment for the Portal Potty exhibit and distributing the recycling bins throughout the festival grounds. Big ups to all of the other volunteers that HELPED throughout the festival. You guys are rad. That’s right, we say rad now.  Inside Matt's rockin' 1980's Portal Potty
 Bridget, Ryan, Max, and Anna - part of the Global Inheritance crew
One of our other duties during the festival was to man the Global Inheritance information booth. Due to the location of the booth, 9 out of10 people that approached it were under the impression that we were handing out schedules and selling water. However, there was a good number of people who were interested in what we were doing, whereas we would organize them a nice little packet, give them the spiel, sign them up on our mailing list, and send them on their merry little way. Fortunately for us, Eric hooked it up the second day and let us sell our “Support Global Cooling” shirts as well. Good looks.  Mike manning his and John's wicked year 2000 DJ Portal Potty
One of the dirtier aspects of the job was the removal of bottles, cans, and sometimes garbage (thanks a lot you lazy bastards- you know who you are) from the recycling bins. This required bobbing and weaving in and out of the thousands of festival-goers on the Gator. This experience was very interesting, especially at night. The lights from the vehicle seemed to startle a lot of the kids on drugs and they tended to stare directly at them and then move very slowly out of the way. A lot of the meat-heads thought that it was a free trolly ride around the festival and tried to hop on the back-- It’s full of bottles and cans guys, use what little brain cells you have left and take notice. Most of all, it was by far the best way to get anywhere backstage because basically if you are driving around in a Gator, you’re doing something important and you shouldn’t ask many questions of the people on it.  Ryan and Sean driving through the sea of drug, crazed hippies. Maybe Sean should keep his eyes on the road.
The most important duty we fulfilled was guarding the Portal Potties during the mass exodus at the end of the night. For some reason, after a long day in the sun, the consumption of various drugs and alcohols, and having their brains rattled by five stages of music, everyone thought it was totally kosher to piss on these amazing pieces of art. Basically the end of every night consisted of standing strong-armed in front of the portal potties telling mindless drones that they couldn’t relieve themselves in them. Throughout the night we’d reference a scene from the brilliant film Team America, whereas Martin Sheen and Tim Robbins repeat over and over and over, “We’re Guarrrds. Yea, we’re guards.”
 The 1970's and 1980's portal potties before the event
 The portal potties under attack during the mass exodus.
All in all, it was a much more enjoyable experience having actually done something worthwhile and productive at Coachella than to be one of the 85,000 + wanderers who attended. Not to mention that we had the chance to get to know a great deal of the production staff who made the festival happen. Nice work y’all.
A huge thanks is in order for Eric Ritz, the founder of Global Inheritance, for giving us such a great opportunity. Not only does he run one of the most wicked non-profits out there, but he’s a good guy to get to know. We look forward to working/chillaxin’ with you in the near future and wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors.
*For more pictures and information on the Portal Potty exhibit, click here.
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