Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Be The Change

Notice the above quote says absolutely nothing about words.  Speech.  Promises.  I apologize for torturing all (2) of you last week and talking about posting something. Empty promises.  The truth is, I wrote a lot of words this week, personal things about love, heartache, marriage and my crazy upbringing.  Things I’m just not sure that I’m ready to share with the world. 

Due to my crazy upbringing, I have come to understand what an absolute waste words can be. I have long been convinced the only reason humans learned how to talk was in order to lie to one another.  Working with a mute autistic child for years has taught me more about the power of silence and the value of action than any sermon, motivational speech or self-help book ever will.

As a writer I struggle to grasp the paradox of words.  On the one hand they are ultimately meaningless.  On the other, they can be extraordinarily powerful because language speaks to our reason.  Reason forms the basis of our beliefs and our beliefs ultimately inform our decisions. Over the course of history, we humans have long believed a lot of bullshit we've been told that simply isn’t true. And we’ve made a lot of questionable decisions based on these “facts”.  Hence why we stay in relationships with people who will never change, but are constantly claiming they will. Or why women stay with men who beat them, while promising they will never do it again. Or why we once believed the Earth was flat.  Or that a race deserved to be enslaved.

However, rhetoric only takes on meaning when it is backed by action.  Depending on the actions taken, this is when the wrong words in the wrong hands can become extremely dangerous.  See the Holocaust, the Inquisition and Al Qaeda as just a FEW of the many, many examples of words used to justify horrific atrocities and acts of violence on a global scale.

But what about the bullshit we tell ourselves?  All day long we have an incessant, running internal dialogue, a news feed, telling us things about our world, our families, our lives, ourselves. And 9 times out of 10, we believe it.  What atrocities occur in response to that discourse?  Actions speak louder than words because our actions reveal our inner diatribe. And it's generally based in the misguided notion we have been sold since birth that there is something wrong with us.  We should have more money.  We should lose weight.  Our kids should behave a certain way.  Our families should love us more. There shouldn’t be so much traffic. Our significant other shouldn't respond that way…on and on and on we go like this our entire lives.  Until we finally reach the moment of our death which will probably be met with the thought “I shouldn’t be dying.” 

Our suffering does not come from whatever unpleasant situation we find ourselves in.  It comes from whatever we are telling ourselves about that situation, usually, that we shouldn’t be in that situation at all.  That things should be different.  So much of our misery comes from a simple inability to embrace what is.  Because, the last time I checked, parents fuck up, kids act out, couples fall out of love and tragic things happen to good people. Death is an inevitable reality of life; it’s the final act that, try as we might, we cannot avoid. It’s all the way it should be because it’s the way it is.  Reality isn’t based in words.  Reality is based in actions.

The basic definition of “LIFE” is “the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity and continual change preceding death.”  In other words--action, energy, motion.  Gandhi didn't say, "Talk about the change you wish to see in this world."  He said, "BE the change you wish to see..." By embodying the principles you hold most dear, compassion, courage, love, patience, you give those principles LIFE. 

I pride myself on being a woman of action. Some of the actions I have taken could be considered "mistakes", others "successes". I am trying not to label them anymore. The older I get, the more mindful I become of the stories I am telling--not just to others--but more importantly, myself.  Because those stories are ultimately going to determine my experience. Regardless of the labels I attach to my movement, I am committed to enjoying the dance, moving with it and staying present with whatever form it takes.   My only desire now is to continue growing, changing, evolving, learning, rejoicing, grieving, laughing, praying, giving, receiving, dreaming, loving, living and being human until that final moment when, hopefully, I will be able to accept dying as just another act I’m gratefully experiencing on the journey.  And, like all of life's most profound moments, I'm pretty sure there will be no words to describe it.