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Thrown Under the Short Bus: Part 4 |
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In Conclusion
“Let He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” John 8:7
In the age of Google and YouTube, I suppose I can’t have my cake and eat it too. We can fight it all we want, but there is no longer a separation between someone’s work and their life outside of their job. We are talking out of both sides of our mouth. We can’t expect to have a network where we can post our deepest longings and pictures of our babies, yet then scream about how we have no privacy.
Long before I was ever a "Life Coach" to teens, I was a writer and performer. Apparently my irreverent, sometimes x-rated stand-up bits come into direct conflict with what people think a teacher should be. I can understand this, but come on, it’s not like I’m doing my routine for the children.
At least I put it all out there. At least these parents and administrators know what they are getting with me. I’m not hiding anything and I never will, because it’s pointless. My past is my past. It will always be there. I can’t change it. But I can overcome it. Ironically, it’s exactly my irreverent, non-judgmental, streetwise attitude that makes me so good with teens. However, there are always going to be petty people out there waiting to use it against me.
We all have our secrets. We all have indiscretions. I find that in general, it is the people who protest the loudest in outrage who have the most to hide. I can’t tell you how many teachers, doctors, lawyers and other "upstanding" members of society I know for a fact do lines of cocaine on their weekends off, drop acid on their birthdays, get strippers for their bachelor parties or go on ecstasy-binges at Coachella. I know fathers who get hookers, mothers who are pill-poppers, husbands who cheat, wives who are into BDSM. I have so much dirt on people, I could bury them all alive. If I really wanted the most popular blog online, all I would have to do is tell these stories.
But I don’t want that. I want to be someone you can trust. Someone who shoots straight but doesn’t judge. Someone you can reveal your true Self to, good and bad, without fear of betrayal. This is what resonated with the teens. This is what resonates with bank tellers who tell me their entire life story. I can’t tell you how many times I hear from people, “God, I don’t even tell my shrink this stuff.”
So you can throw me under the short bus, you can take away my livelihood, you can slander me, defame me and take away the one thing I care about the most, the kids. You can spread vicious lies about me. But you can’t take away my freedom of speech. And you can’t take away the truth. And the truth is, I didn’t do anything wrong. The only thing I am guilty of is being great with kids. And kids know the truth. They see right through us. And I might have lost my ability to see some of them, but I haven’t lost their respect. The school administration has. And I don’t have to lay down at night knowing that I threw a good person doing good work under the bus. They do.
But I forgive them. Because that’s what I do. I’m sure Jealousaurus Rex and her cronies have their reasons (however irrational and insane they might be) for their actions. I have faith that karma will take care of this in the long run. I harbor no resentment and wish them all the best on their path as this whole situation has caused me to re-evaluate mine.
The fallout STILL persists. The administration has gone so far as to call the kids shrinks and tell them about me. How do I know this? Because all of the kids call me still. Many of the parents, after having read these blogs, are actually now willing to sit down with me over coffee and hear me out. It appears the pen is mightier than the sword.
The outpouring of feedback, well wishes and good advice that has come via Facebook messages, emails, texts, comments and phone calls since I wrote this piece has been overwhelming. Apparently Phetasy has quite a lot more than 2 readers…like 100 times more than I thought. I have tried to thank any and all of you personally who have reached out, but if I didn’t in the midst of the holidays, please forgive me. I hope you know how much it means to me that you would take the time to show your support. Thank you truly, from the bottom of my heart. Your words have given me strength and affirmation that ultimately, I made the right choice.
One of the things a lawyer told me was that I would have to shut down Phetasy for the duration of a lawsuit. My heart stopped. Yes, I work with kids. Yes, I teach yoga. But I’m a writer. And as I mentioned yesterday, Phetasy keeps me sane. Since I took the job at the school though, I hadn’t been writing at all. So to Jealousaurus Rex and the administration, I have one final thing to say: Thank you. You’ve assisted the return to my path. It’s great to be back. And I owe it all to you.
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