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Thrown Under the Short Bus: Part 3 |
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Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I Was A Teen
Life is absolutely nothing like school. In fact, it’s the complete opposite: you get tested first, then you learn the lessons and only long after the fact do you figure out what class you were actually in.
I promise you, it doesn’t get any easier, in fact, life gets harder and more complicated. But have no fear, what does get easier is your knowledge of who you are, what your purpose is here and what you are willing to do to in order to follow your dreams.
People will tell you to “follow your hearts” like it’s a piece of cake, when in fact, following your heart usually requires making the hardest decisions of your life. Follow your heart anyway.
Be true to your Self and the rest will follow. Believe in your Self when no one else does. Notice how you talk to yourself--would you talk to your best friend that way? I highly doubt it. If you can start by being kind and non-judgmental with yourself, it will make it much easier to view the rest of humanity that way.
Smile at the world and the world will smile back. Well, at least sometimes it will. And if it doesn’t, KEEP SMILING. We are all on this sinking ship together. Every living thing on this planet is in a constant, never-ending state of trying to survive. Practice compassion.
Everyone feels suicidally depressed sometimes, it’s normal. Self-pity has its place, but it’s not a place you want to stay very long. Acknowledge that you are in a moody, broody state of mind and set yourself to shifting your attitude.
You can do this by noticing what you are making up about your experience in any situation. Whether you are bitching in traffic, bitching in a long line at the grocery store or whining because you didn’t get something you wanted, it is entirely in your power to change that state of being. Turn up your music and sing. Strike up a conversation with a stranger or ask the store clerk how their day is going. Shift the focus outward instead of focusing on yourself.
When the going gets tough, get grateful. Start counting your blessings. Your beating heart. Your working legs. Your eyes that see. Running hot water. Food. Whatever it is you take for granted, take note of it. It is truly amazing how fast you will start to feel better.
Security is an illusion. Everything can change in one second, one phone call, one bad decision. The other side of this coin is opportunity. It lurks around every corner, in every situation you find yourself in. All you have to do is be open to finding the silver lining.
Never look at what you are getting in life. Look at what you are giving up. NOTHING in this world comes without a sacrifice and whatever you end up with will mean nothing if you regret what you had to do or had to give up in order to get there.
Use death as a reference. When you’re a teenager, live your life avoiding it. Don’t be stupid and reckless. I can’t tell you how many young peoples' funerals I attended and I can promise you there is nothing more heartbreaking on the planet. Don’t do anything that will put the people you love through a nightmare that never ends.
When you get older, live your life from your deathbed and continually ask yourself “what will I think about this situation when I am lying there?”. In other words, GO FOR IT. We do not experience the equivalent of even half a milliseconds breath on this planet. Ask yourself “Is this a fear that’s keeping me alive or a fear that is keeping me from living.”
Although it feels eternally long while you are waiting to turn 21, don’t wish away your youth. After 21, the years will accelerate faster than you can get your mind around—treasure the time you have where your only real responsibility is getting through school and not pissing off your parents.
Speaking of them…your parents only want one thing for you: to be HAPPY. Sometimes, they are just as confused and lost as you are as to what exactly the key to that might be. They too are searching for guidance, for answers and for clarity. Due to the fact that adolescence was so traumatizing, it seems most of us “adults” have done a pretty good job of blocking the whole experience from our consciousness. Go easy on them.
Don’t blame them for not understanding you. Most of them just figured out how to use the internet within the past decade. You guys have been online since you were five and talk in code “ok, omg lol ttyl ily”. Your parents are just doing the best they can with the tools they were given in rapidly changing world.
Look for solutions. Not someone to blame. Blaming is a pointless waste of energy. In the end, you will still be exactly where you are. Accept your lot and set yourself to bettering yourself, your world and others.
You’ll say things like “I can’t wait until I’m a grown up and then I can…” Well, let me tell ya, eating all the Lucky Charms you want at 3am comes at a steep price, because you’ll more than likely have to wake up early and get to work to pay for those Lucky Charms and that freedom to eat them whenever you please. This is when you will have a new found appreciation for your parents.
To my little Goddesses remember: You are unique, gorgeous and precious. Seducing men is like hunting cows. Make them come to you. If a man makes you feel insecure, walk away. He represents a broken part of you that doesn’t love your Self enough. Learn the lesson and focus on healing that broken part. Treasure your body and seek out men who will do the same. Be kind to your soul sisters and learn to support one another. Take note of the way guys support each other in their “bros before hos” mentality--they're on to something. For far too long women have been divided and it is time we band together. Unite your fellow Goddesses.
To my little Warriors: Try to be fearless in going after what you want and showing a woman how much you care. I understand love can be scary, especially when you are loving a crazy woman, but withholding love and affection when you really want to give it only sets you both up to engage in a game. A game that no one ends up winning. Set yourself to becoming a solid man. Revert to the good old days. Learn how to fix things. Open doors. A little bit of chivalry goes a long way. If you don’t know what that means, set yourself to finding a mentor who does.
Value your freedom. Protect your freedom and the freedom of others at all costs. Empower others to be free. Realize that no one has or can do anything to you and that you have not or cannot do anything to them. Herein lies true freedom.
It also lies in making a fool of yourself. Laugh as much as you can. Dance as much as you can. See as much live music as you can. Go on road trips. Travel the world. Get out in nature. Experience art. Whatever feeds your soul and makes your heart soar, do as much of it as possible.
Carlos Castaneda said: “You can either make yourself miserable, or make yourself strong—the amount of work is the same.” Make yourself strong. And set yourself to helping others do the same.
And remember...You are perfect just the way you are. You are not your diagnosis. You are not broken. You don’t need fixing. You just need to trust yourself and trust life. Trust that your path is unfolding in exactly the way it should and that the lessons you are learning now, are exactly what you need to prepare you for your future.
No matter what has
been said about me and what you believe, if there was anything I said
to you in our time together that gave you hope, inspired you or gave
you something to believe in at your darkest moments--I pray you will
learn a valuable lesson early in life: to separate the message from the
messenger.
In
other words, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. I’m sorry if
this situation has left you feeling confused. The thing that pissed me
off the most about the way it was handled was that they undermined any
tools you may have taken from me.
Not
everyone walks their walk. And even people who do, get thrown under the
short bus sometimes. Regardless, there is a lot of wisdom out there, even your
local drunk or homeless guy might someday say something you need to
hear.
Take
whatever works. Use it. Toss me aside and demonize me if that is what
you need to do in order to survive—I completely understand, I’ve had to
do it too—but please at least keep whatever teachings may help you
along the way….because trust me, on this journey, you will need all the wisdom and strength you can gather.
I love you all, no matter what fucked up mess you find yourself in or think yourselves to be. Never feel alone. I’m here for you whenever you need me and so are a lot more people than you think. You taught me as much about myself and life, if not more, than I ever could have taught you. Thank you for revealing your Warrior Spirits to me. I feel honored to have shared this time with you—even if it was just a moment. We had a friggin' blast and I miss you all so much.
Now…go…and take the world by storm.
Article Series
This article is part 3 of a 3 part series. Other articles in this series are shown below:
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Thrown Under the Short Bus: Part 1
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Thrown Under the Short Bus: Part 2
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Thrown Under the Short Bus: Part 3
1 Response to "Thrown Under the Short Bus: Part 3" 
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