Undies On the Beach Day

Undies On the Beach Day

I am beginning to really love Garbage On the Beach Day—you never know what to expect when you are picking up trash.  Always an adventure. We were cleaning the dunes today and lemmee tell ya…the dunes are where you find the sketchy shit.  Here’s some of the cool stuff we found and/or threw away in the dunes:

1. Two pairs of torn up boxers. (Upon finding them my sister said, “Do you ever wonder if they belong to someone who D-I-E-D at sea?” Which made me laugh hysterically because she had to spell it out and led to the below discussion regarding the potential discovery of a dead body.)
2. An old bra.
3. A small dime-bag of weed (stems and seeds only).
4. More balloons and about 20 balloon strings.
5. About 500 feet of rope.
6. Ten Dunkin’ Donuts cups (we find tons of these every week and we now believe that people who drink that brand of coffee are gigantic litterbugs)
7. A vial of something or another. (My sister commented as I was holding it up, “That looks like a catheter.” I tried not to vomit.)
8. About 100 beers cans or empty liquor bottles. (Peppermint Schnapps…I smell teenagers running amuck…)
9. Someone’s expired ID. (“Do you think he’s D-E-A-D?” I asked my sister. “No, but keep it.  We should keep the cool stuff that we find.  Like the ID’s of dead people,” she replied sarcastically and hilariously.)

And folks, please don’t worry, we all take the necessary precautions when picking up trash. We all wear plastic gloves and my nephew is only allowed to pick up paper and plastic bottles.
No comments from anyone today; just a lot of people out jogging.
All in all we collected 6 bags of garbage and 2 bags of bottles in one hour.

Today we also came across two very large mounds of something or other; one was covered with a blanket or something, buried in the sand.  The other mound was either a large bundle of rope, or a little bit of rope attached to God-knows-what.  We don’t dig to find out.  Like I said, my sister and I are just waiting for the day that we find a body.  Because we are with my young nephews, we try to avoid anything that looks shady or potentially disturbing.

We were saying it would be just our luck and a giant PHETASY (click here for definition), if we were cleaning up trash and found a dead body, traumatizing my nephew forever (he’d never want to go to the beach again) and costing my sister thousands of dollars in therapy for him.  That would probably put a fast end to Garbage On the Beach Day.  But for now it remains in tact, and as always, a fascinating study into the nature of trash.