Published on 07.31.09

My girlfriend runs this site: http://letterstomyexes.com/ (I have yet to post on it--I have to decide who my first victim is going to be--I think it's going to be someone who was never an ex, but I sure wish he was).

Ms. Letterstomyexes is the only person I know whose stories rival mine in terms of pure craziness, bizarre coincidences and tragic hilarity. I say, "this-shit-only-happens-to-me" but, it happens to her too.

This list was compiled over breakfast as we tried to make sense of our poor taste in men. Clearly we haven't been asking the right questions.
It is based 100% on life experience.

Special Thanks to Ms. Letterstomyexes

Want to be the next featured Ex on letterstomyexes.com ?

Answer the following questionnaire for consideration! Send all replies here.

Do you have a girlfriend?
Are you currently sleeping with any females you consider to be friends?
Do you have a wife?
Do you have any children/ baby mamas?
Is anyone stalking you that may show up at my doorstep or call me?
Are you involved in any pending legal investigations?
Are you a registered sex offender…
a) Has anything in regards to your sexual conduct been placed in your permanent file?
b) are you an unregistered sex offender?
Do you have a job? (having a business card is not proof of employment.)
How involved is your mother in your day-to-day life?
What is the pattern of your bedspread?
Do you have a problem tipping 18 percent? (deal breaker!)
Do you sleep with ear plugs?
How big is your "man meat" ?
Do you have a Prince Albert? Would you be willing to part with it?
Are you available to date between 10 am and 2 pm Monday through Friday?