The Adventures of Cap'n Plan It

By The Boss and VOR
Published 04.09.06
Earth To Your Mother

The Quest for the Stump of Truth

The Quest for the Stump of Truth

Cap'n Plan It, your Mission,

should you choose to accept it, is to:
SAVE THE HUMANS.

The humans are totally fucked. They are in dire need of your help. Not only is their infrastructure collapsing around them, the majority of them don't seem to notice!
It appears no one has any back up plans. At all.

In order to save the humans you must not only convince them to see past their own stupidity; you must help them find a way to completely reverse the currently doomed course of human history.

It might already be too late, but we must try.
Do you accept your Mission, Cap'n Plan It?

"Do I look like I have a choice?
I accept."

Cap'n Plan It glances over his shoulder, to ensure he is unobserved, and prepares for a quick takeoff.

He is unobserved - except for the photographer standing five feet away.

He leaps into the air determined to save the humans,
or at least die trying.

He is unsure where to begin on such a difficult mission, but he thinks that perhaps Mother Earth can guide him.
With hope in his heart, he sets out to find her.

His hapless sidekick attempts to follow with a not-so-graceful takeoff that finds him sprawled on the sand two seconds later.

After submitting to a breathalizer he is grounded for attempting to fly while intoxicated. He is severely disappointed having hoped to canoodle with Mother Earth's hottie daughters, Ocean and Air.

The threat to the humans stems from the fact that-- though putting on a wonderful pretense of health and beauty--

Mother Earth and her twin daughters, Ocean and Air are are in fact being slowly poisoned to death.

The threat to the Elements is the result of the greedy and non-sensical machinations of this sinister character:
The Golden Cow

The Golden Cow is evil incarnate. He is the human representation of the false idols of Money and Organized Religion. He is responsible for blinding humans to the true nature of God, helping them poison their most precious natural resources, and killing the very Elements that are necessary for human survival.

At the advice of Mother Earth, Cap'n Plan It goes on a dangerous mission to retrieve the last surviving piece of The Tree of Life, which has been whittled away over the course of human existance until all that is left is:
The Stump of Truth.

The Stump must be burned to release the Message of Truth to the world and spread a CONSCIOUS EVOLUTION among all the humans.

Cap'n Plan It triumphantly carries the Stump of Truth through the streets with Mother Earth at his side, celebrating with a cup of ambrosia.

They will have a bonfire that night and spread the Message of Truth to the world in the hopes that the humans will pay attention for once and
EVOLVE - OR they will all surely DIE.

Cap'n Plan It comes in for a perfect landing after successfully completeing the first stage of his mission.

His hapless sidekick, who has anxiously awaited his return, asks for details of the mission so that he can answer questions later and pretend he was there all along.

Encouraged by the support of his proud friends...

Cap'n Plan It looks to the future and sees that the war has just begun. His mission to prevent the humans from extincting themselves is far from over.

But Cap'n Plan it is determined not to let the great obstacles he must still overcome overwhelm him with apathy and hopelessness--or prevent him from savoring the fruits of his initial victory.

And in an unexpected triumph, Cap'n Plan It was also successful in singlehandedly bringing the mustache back into style. Well done sir!

Meanwhile, the forces of darkness converge as The Golden Cow prepares an attack in yet another manifestation of his greed and insanity:Politics.

Will Art succumb to The Golden Cow?
Will Politics get in the way of Real Change?
Will Cap'n Plan It be able to lead the younger generations to a massive, immediate, global shift in consciousness?

Will you help Cap'n Plan it on his mission?
Or hurt him.