COOL VIOLATION - Two

Goldman Sachs Rant

There is this reoccurring term I’ve been using to describe a certain sect of people lately. “Yo-Pro’s” (short for young professionals). You know the ones: suit not normally tailored well, NEVER WITHOUT THE BLACKBERRY/IPHONE/PALM hands-free device bullshit, most likely went to a better school then you, normally start conversations with the question “So where did you graduate from?” Also they usually make twice the amount of money you do and have no problem telling you about it. But working at Goldman Sachs does not get you Style, Swagger, or make you Culturally Aware of what’s going on around you. It does however, get you an understanding of the “market” (whatever the fuck that means) and a strong bank roll on PokerStars.net.
I run a Mexican Restaurant In the West Village and somehow it is turning into a Yo-Pro meeting spot on the weekends…that is until I refused to serve Single Malt Scotch or Miller Lite. By the way who’s the asshole responsible for telling these guys that they have to drink single malts? I can only imagine if I somehow wound up at the Smith Barney Christmas Party:

Me: Can I have a Bud Bottle and a shot please?

Bartender: Ahhh excuse me sir I am going to have to ask to see your collar… (Checking shirt collar) YEAH! Just as I expected, you’re going to have to leave….

On the weekends the Yo-Pro’s turn right back into Drunk College Kids. Flooding the East Side, cruising for happy hour specials. You can always spot them, just look for pleated khakis a bit too short, their faded college t-shirt, and a perfectly worn-in canvas hat they got while vacationing with their parents in Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard, OBX, shit you choose one of those waspy-ass islands. I don’t want to alienate all you Yo-Pro’s out there, just the ones who I deal with on a daily basis, who’s over-privileged-ass parents did not teach their children to use the key phrases “ PLEASE” and “THANK YOU”.