Isnt it Quixotic
http://www.phetasy.com/articles/12/1/Isnt-it-Quixotic/Page1.html
The Notorious BFG
THE NOTORIOUS BFG
This column is a culmination of many events. Where to begin? First and foremost, I’d like to thank the thirty or so Walloon families that settled what would become present day New York City on the shores of the Hudson River around 1624. Way to go. Lets also give it up to Dutch settler Peter Minuit, who created New Amsterdam when he bought Manhattan Island from the Algonquin Indians for some glass beads, a mirror, and a Dwight Evans rookie card. Good looking out dude.
I’d also like to thank the civic-minded members of the old merchant aristocracy who pressed for a public park in 1857. The result of an open design competition, Central Park became the first landscaped park in an American city. Nice job, old merchant aristocracy. That park is pretty cool.
Last but not least, I’d like to thank The Big Guy. Just for being You (pointing skywards).
By The Notorious BFG
Published on 04.03.06
This morning, while exiting the subway station, a woman offered me a flyer that I dutifully accepted. Normally, I avoid these handouts like the plague, but this particular hippie had skills. She employed the universal information-peddling code of success:
Episode Two
This morning, while exiting the subway station, a woman offered me a flyer that I dutifully accepted. Normally, I avoid these handouts like the plague, but this particular hippie had skills. She employed the universal information-peddling code of success:
1) Make uncomfortable eye contact with your target
2) As they approach, explain your protest/advertisement/all-night rave in five words or less
3) Extend arm
4) Release flyer
5) Give your mark an appreciative smile
6) Be an attractive member of the opposite sex
Following these simple steps will ensure my participation in your cause. At least until I come upon the closest trash can. Today, this girl could have been rallying to advance painful lab tests on golden retriever puppies, and I still would have taken her flyer, stared at it blankly and thought; “Now there’s a girl that can pull off dreadlocks.”
Not to say that I’m completely indifferent to social causes. I care about as much (or as little) as anyone else when it comes to things like saving the rainforest, fighting big business, or proclaiming Colonel Sanders history’s most prolific killer. Like most people, I just don’t get too worked up about these things because they don’t effect my day to day life. Now, if the walk back to my apartment suddenly involved say…. face-offs with wild cougars, it would be a different story. I would think, “You know what? New York has a cougar problem. This isn’t safe at all. I don’t want my [future] children to have to deal with these terrifying cougars. We need to do something about this!” Then I would probably attend a protest, or collect signatures or volunteer at the “Stop the Cougars Charity Concert,” headlined by John Cougar Mellencamp.
What really fascinates me is how these proactive flyer people seem to be on modern day quixotic missions. Don Quixote, the title character from arguably the world’s most important work of fiction, has over the years become synonymous with a kind of romantic but misplaced idealism; someone who has a desire to achieve a noble, yet unrealistic, objective. In other words, a crazy person with good intentions. In one famous scene, while traveling the countryside, Quixote encounters a menacing giant and bravely challenges him to a duel. But, with his poor vision, the old man does not realize that he is actually confronting a motionless, inanimate windmill. Undeterred, he attacks the “giant,” and inflicts some damage, but ultimately the windmill gets the best of him and he retreats.
I can’t help but think of this scene when I accept one of these unwanted flyers in the subway, or in Times Square, or wherever. I’m not talking about the people promoting comedy clubs or handing out dinner coupons. I mean the idealists; like Greenpeace, PETA, anti-globalization protestors, conservatives, liberals etc. These people see themselves and their causes as noble. Everyone else sees them as whack jobs. To them, they are the valiant knight Quixote, challenging a collective giant, in the form of commuters exiting the subway. Their ultimate goal is to make the world a better place. To others, though, they are the crazy old man who doesn’t realize he’s fighting a windmill. Their hearts are in the right place, but they are attempting an impossible task. Here in New York, their mission is particularly challenging because these windmills are usually late for work and/or wearing headphones.
What bothers me about these people is that they have a tendency to go overboard. About five years ago I was on the London Underground and a woman was forcing anti-fur flyers upon unwilling passengers. The flyer showed pictures of skinned animals, lying dead in pools of blood. Not a pleasant thing to look at on the way to work. One of the handouts wound up on the seat across from me. A couple of stops later, a boy no more than 6 years old boarded with his mother. She didn’t notice the flyer; but he did. I watched closely as he examined it. I expected a visceral reaction such as crying, or at least informing mom as to what he saw. But he just sat there silently glancing at it and then looking away. This bothered me deeply; although I’m sure it wasn’t her intention, this anti-fur nut-job traumatized a 6-year-old boy. I could see it in his eyes. I’d be surprised if he didn’t have nightmares about it. What right did she have to do that?
I can’t think of anything, short of cougars escaping from the Bronx zoo, that would inspire such impassioned zeal in me. Maybe this will change later in my life. Once I have children I imagine I will be more enthusiastic about certain topics. Who knows. But at this point I have to wonder: what drives a person to stand on a cold street corner just to be rebuked by 90% of the people 90% of the time? I know it’s not the pay. I’m pretty sure it’s not the dental plan. Am I missing something? Or are they kidding themselves?
It’s probably me. Lest I forget, the book was named after DQ. He was the hero. There will always be these kinds of people. We need them. For the most part, they are trying to do good things, and history will look back on them fondly. In the book, Quixote’s detractors and doubters were depicted as antagonists. I don’t consider myself an adversary to hippies handing out flyers. I guess I’m more of a skeptic. The Scully to their Mulder. Maybe one day they’ll finally get through to me. Maybe one day I’ll see things differently, and I’ll use their handout for something other than getting rid of my stale gum. But as of now, I am reluctantly indifferent. Actually, as of right now I’m kind of craving a milkshake. I wonder if there’s a Dairy Queen around here….
1) Make uncomfortable eye contact with your target
2) As they approach, explain your protest/advertisement/all-night rave in five words or less
3) Extend arm
4) Release flyer
5) Give your mark an appreciative smile
6) Be an attractive member of the opposite sex
Following these simple steps will ensure my participation in your cause. At least until I come upon the closest trash can. Today, this girl could have been rallying to advance painful lab tests on golden retriever puppies, and I still would have taken her flyer, stared at it blankly and thought; “Now there’s a girl that can pull off dreadlocks.”
Not to say that I’m completely indifferent to social causes. I care about as much (or as little) as anyone else when it comes to things like saving the rainforest, fighting big business, or proclaiming Colonel Sanders history’s most prolific killer. Like most people, I just don’t get too worked up about these things because they don’t effect my day to day life. Now, if the walk back to my apartment suddenly involved say…. face-offs with wild cougars, it would be a different story. I would think, “You know what? New York has a cougar problem. This isn’t safe at all. I don’t want my [future] children to have to deal with these terrifying cougars. We need to do something about this!” Then I would probably attend a protest, or collect signatures or volunteer at the “Stop the Cougars Charity Concert,” headlined by John Cougar Mellencamp.
What really fascinates me is how these proactive flyer people seem to be on modern day quixotic missions. Don Quixote, the title character from arguably the world’s most important work of fiction, has over the years become synonymous with a kind of romantic but misplaced idealism; someone who has a desire to achieve a noble, yet unrealistic, objective. In other words, a crazy person with good intentions. In one famous scene, while traveling the countryside, Quixote encounters a menacing giant and bravely challenges him to a duel. But, with his poor vision, the old man does not realize that he is actually confronting a motionless, inanimate windmill. Undeterred, he attacks the “giant,” and inflicts some damage, but ultimately the windmill gets the best of him and he retreats.
I can’t help but think of this scene when I accept one of these unwanted flyers in the subway, or in Times Square, or wherever. I’m not talking about the people promoting comedy clubs or handing out dinner coupons. I mean the idealists; like Greenpeace, PETA, anti-globalization protestors, conservatives, liberals etc. These people see themselves and their causes as noble. Everyone else sees them as whack jobs. To them, they are the valiant knight Quixote, challenging a collective giant, in the form of commuters exiting the subway. Their ultimate goal is to make the world a better place. To others, though, they are the crazy old man who doesn’t realize he’s fighting a windmill. Their hearts are in the right place, but they are attempting an impossible task. Here in New York, their mission is particularly challenging because these windmills are usually late for work and/or wearing headphones.
What bothers me about these people is that they have a tendency to go overboard. About five years ago I was on the London Underground and a woman was forcing anti-fur flyers upon unwilling passengers. The flyer showed pictures of skinned animals, lying dead in pools of blood. Not a pleasant thing to look at on the way to work. One of the handouts wound up on the seat across from me. A couple of stops later, a boy no more than 6 years old boarded with his mother. She didn’t notice the flyer; but he did. I watched closely as he examined it. I expected a visceral reaction such as crying, or at least informing mom as to what he saw. But he just sat there silently glancing at it and then looking away. This bothered me deeply; although I’m sure it wasn’t her intention, this anti-fur nut-job traumatized a 6-year-old boy. I could see it in his eyes. I’d be surprised if he didn’t have nightmares about it. What right did she have to do that?
I can’t think of anything, short of cougars escaping from the Bronx zoo, that would inspire such impassioned zeal in me. Maybe this will change later in my life. Once I have children I imagine I will be more enthusiastic about certain topics. Who knows. But at this point I have to wonder: what drives a person to stand on a cold street corner just to be rebuked by 90% of the people 90% of the time? I know it’s not the pay. I’m pretty sure it’s not the dental plan. Am I missing something? Or are they kidding themselves?
It’s probably me. Lest I forget, the book was named after DQ. He was the hero. There will always be these kinds of people. We need them. For the most part, they are trying to do good things, and history will look back on them fondly. In the book, Quixote’s detractors and doubters were depicted as antagonists. I don’t consider myself an adversary to hippies handing out flyers. I guess I’m more of a skeptic. The Scully to their Mulder. Maybe one day they’ll finally get through to me. Maybe one day I’ll see things differently, and I’ll use their handout for something other than getting rid of my stale gum. But as of now, I am reluctantly indifferent. Actually, as of right now I’m kind of craving a milkshake. I wonder if there’s a Dairy Queen around here….